Happy 2015 IWSG

(Yay! First Insecure Writer's Support Group post of the new year. And I'm on time! Before we get into this you must take time to meet the awesome Alex J Cavanaugh. Plus, go check out the IWSG website. While you're at both of those sites please take a few moments to browse, they're both great places to hang. But, don't forget to stop by each of the wonderful co-hosts blogs as well: Elizabeth Seckman, Lisa Buie-Collard, Chrys Fey, and Michelle Wallace.)

Since I haven't done anything, I'm really not secure or insecure about writing at the moment. I have no advice to give other than, write. If you wrote last year, maybe make a goal to write more. If you wrote a ton last year, make a goal to take the pace down a notch this time. And if you wrote at a good pace and you'd like to just keep at it, do whatever worked for you last year. And make sure you don't fear your insecurities either. You need them.

I feared once upon a time, actually I think I wondered it most in 2014, that writers wouldn't be as necessary. Everyone is a writer. Anyone can write anything they want. Things get published left and right, so people who needed writers don't anymore. Scripts, novels, plays, everyhting and anything you need-anyone can write it for you.

'Everyone' is not and can not be a writer. Writing is hard, it takes guts, time, effort, patience, love, understanding, caring, a bit(or maybe a lot) of crazy, and so much heart. Writers don't write because it's something people need, writers write because it's something they need. We all need to write out what's playing constantly through our minds or we'll all go crazier than we already are.

All those people who think it's easy, anyone can do it, they let anyone do it-they're wrong and honestly, not that bright. Writing isn't something that just comes naturally. Period. I don't care how fast someone can spit out a best selling novel, it doesn't mean it was easy. And those who say it's easy, aren't really writers. Not only does it take everything I said-it takes insecurities. So, make sure you open yourself up to those this year. Don't worry when you're feeling insecure, enjoy it and know that you're a writer and if you get too secure, your work won't shine as bright. Cocky writers don't always make great writers(but it's okay to be secure too).

What are your writing plans for this year? Are you writing, editing, publishing? Are you taking a break from writing all together? Or are you going to shoot out books that make it look easy? ;p

Sorry I didn't keep this one short enough, I'll try harder next time.

Have a great week and I'll see y'all next time. :)

Madness With a Side of IWSG

It's that time again...time for NaNoWriMo!

No, that's not really what I'm going to write about, well, technically I'll mention it, but I really mean it's time for another Insecure Writers Support Group post. AND I'm on time, YAY! (Well, it may not be early like I prefer to post, but hey, it is the first Wednesday so I'm getting better.)


Before I go on, make sure you're in the know when it comes to the wonderful awesomeness that is Alex J Cavanaugh. Also check out the IWSG website.

I've been crazy busy because I started my kids in an online homeschool program, but I started NaNo. I haven't made as much progress as I would like to have at this time, but I've made progress and that's what counts for me.

That's all I'm going to say about NaNo though.

Since I haven't been writing much, I haven't thought much about insecurities or securities. I have been a little worried that I won't be able to get NaNo done. I've already started three different WIPs because I stalled on each one. I shouldn't have done that though because now I've got three ideas going and I'm not sure which one to work on. It makes me have really mixed up, weird, nonsense dreams because all my ideas are merging together when I sleep. Which doesn't help when I wake up because then I have a hard time serparating the ideas. And there's no mixing these up so they need to stay separated.

But my indecision didn't stop me from writing 1223 words last night. It may have been a combined total from two different WIPs, but it was all during the 1k1hr I was working on. Idk, maybe I should just WIP-jump for now and see where it takes me. I haven't really written anything before now in so long that maybe I need to just get back in the groove of things and one WIP will stand out against the three.

I guess that's my IWSG post for the month. Maybe I'm a little of both, maybe my crazy non-writer life is making it hard to feel insecure or secure. I think I'm just happy that I haven't completely lost my mind in general so everything else is just proof that I'm still functioning in all the madness.

Anyway, hope this post makes sense, and if not I'm sure my ramblings are to be expected anyway. Have an awesome Wednesday, maybe I'll get it together and see you again before the month is up. :)

Feeling A Little Of Both This IWSG Wednesday

(I set this as a scheduled post so I'd actually have it up first thing, but Idk what happened because it didn't post...Oh well, it's here now.)

It’s another Insecure Writer’s Support Group Wednesday. I’ve managed to accomplish a whole bunch of nothing this past month in regards to writerly things. I’m not even sure if I’m secure or insecure either…

I’ve been dreaming of my various characters. I’ve made up whole scenes and chapters during drives to and from places. I’ve even sat at my computer pumped to do some critting/writing/editing/other related writerly things and then passed out because I’ve been so exhausted. But, nothing much has actually come of it.

I do have moments during the day that I worry I’m ruining everything for myself and then I have moments that I explain to myself how busy I am and that things will smooth out and start working just fine really soon. But then I go back to doubting anything will ever go back to being right and wondering if I’m really a writer. Of course, if I wasn’t a writer I don’t think I’d have the tons of ideas, dreams, and desires related to the writerly world.

So, I’ll go with a little insecure, a little secure, and a whole bunch of I’m determined to have something more to say next month.

Make sure you hop over to the wonderful Alex J Cavanaugh. Check out this month’s hosts too- Laura (My Baffling Brain), Mark Koopmans, Shah Wharton, and Sheena-Kay Graham. And don’t forget about the IWSG Website.

Until next time, have a wonderful day/week/month and I’ll see you soon. J

My Name Is Kela and I'm (In)Secure

Hello All. Welcome to another Insecure Writer's Support Group Wednesday. If you don't know him already, make sure you jump over to Alex J Cavanaugh and say hello. Also, check out the IWSG website and hosts for this month.

I wrote my title as (In)Secure because I am both, have been both, will continue to be both, and have now accepted it fully. I'm making an effort right now to not apologize for many things not happening around my little blog here. It's actually quite hard for me. But I've realized I need to stop apologizing for things I haven't done yet and just get to getting them done.

And that brings me to what all I've been working on this past month. I got caught up on crits and since I was really freaking behind, it took a lot of catching up. I've been reading, a little editing here and there when I can squeeze it in, a few too many doctor appointments, way too much non-writerly work...but most of all, I've been working on regrouping, refocusing, rethinking, reinventing. I needed to decide where I'm at, where I've been, where I want to be and what I did right and wrong in all those stages (or what I need to do).

I've realized a lot about myself, things I lost and for the good, things I lost for the bad, and things I lost, found, and need to lose again.

I don't know how many people really still pay attention to my blog, but I do know there are a good handful that have stuck around through all my crazy ups and downs. I've met a lot of people by stepping out into the social part of writing, some of those were nothing but a light breeze that came and went. Some came and stayed until they ended up lost themselves (if only I could figure out how to pull them back on track with me).

And some of you came, stayed, and support me through it all. I appreciate that. Those who are still here, are the ones I look up to. I aspire to find the awesome balance you have. I dream to one day be as awesome as Alex, as involved as SC, and as kind as TJ. Those are just a few people who come to my blog through all my flakiness and talk to me on Facebook, AQC, and Twitter. I truly do admire everyone who finds time to be socially active, hold regular jobs and/or go to school, be mother/father/wife/husband/spouse/significant other/etc, and still write/edit/publish/crit/etc--And all while managing to keep yourself from completely losing it. It's difficult, and anyone who accomplishes all of it is really something special. I applaud you, truly.

To wrap up this post and bring it back to the IWSG, I'm a little bit of both right now, insecure and secure. I know what I want and what to do to get there, but I also hate that I'm not there already.

Hope you have an awesome day full of securities and possibly some insecurities that still work out okay for you. :)

-Edit-
So, I just realized my post didn't post. Idk if I did something and can't figure out what, or if it's because Windows 8 hates blogger...or maybe it's blogger hates Windows 8. Whatever the reason, it's posted now. So, hope you had a wonderful day and are having a wonderful evening/night. :)

Happy IWSG Wednesday

And here we are at yet another first Wednesday of the month. I'm happy to write this post today because I am finally really back on track. Yay!

Crits are caught up, writing is happening (partially thanks to NaNoWriMo which I'm participating in again this year), and editing is coming up soon(once I decide which story I want to revise first). Plus, I've got my blog schedule all worked out and beginning next week, I've got some posts all lined up and ready to go. I was going to get it running a couple weeks back and decided I wanted to get caught up on everything else first.

Now that I am all caught up and back on track, reading blogs and jumping back into social networking will follow.

And then I'm going to keep moving day by day, always worried that I may regress back to where I've been this past year. Always in fear that I will fall behind on everything, not reading, not writing, slowly losing myself...And it'll be okay, I'll be okay. I don't want to lose that worry, because without it, I may forget that feeling of being lost. I may forget myself, losing myself again and that's what will trigger the drop right back into the mess I was.

The worry will keep my insecurities at the front of my mind and I'll just have to make sure it fuels my determination to stay on track. But I've been on this roller coaster long enough to know that insecurities are a necessity. Because if you're never insecure, how do you know what it truly means to be secure? It's just like being successful, if you don't know what it feels like to fail, you can't appreciate that feeling of succeeding. And being the overly emotional person that I am, I like to feel and appreciate it all.

So I'm going to wrap my insecurities around me, then secure them and myself.

Happy Wednesday. I hope you're all having a wonderful week. :)

(Don't forget to check out Alex J Cavanaugh, along with the new IWSG website and Facebook.)

Late IWSG and Some other stuff...

Lol, I know, bad title, but I was blank..

(Long post, sorry. :/ )

So, I've been so busy trying to squeeze as much time in with the kids before school started back up that I forgot yesterday was the first Wednesday of this month. It's been crazy here and I'm on the fence torn between so glad that school is back in and so sad that school is back in and my girls aren't home.

(Side Note: Here they are this morning before I took them to school-

 But don't be fooled, they're all sugar on the outside and pure pixie madness on the inside. :P  )

Okay, onto the IWSG...

That's Insecure Writer's Support Group for anyone who doesn't know about the group...and if you don't, you should. Alex J Cavanaugh is behind the awesomeness of this group because he's full of awesomeness so go check him out.

I tend to not like reflecting on certain aspects of myself. Speculations and conclusions that aren't real or even genuine ideas that I truly believe just for the fact that I don't want to really think of why I can't do anything. However, I started a new diet and exercise plan, not just to lose weight, but because I want to get healthy. Plus, my oldest and I both have sensitive stomachs so we decided to try out a gluten-free diet. It's worked so wonderfully that now we rarely have stomach aches at all, unless we cheat and eat gluten. Then we're in pain wishing we hadn't been so weak, giving into something we know we're better off without. Although I've got this new diet and exercise plan going, on top of the fact that I quit smoking (something I've wanted to do for a long time and now it's been months since I smoked at all), my aunt keeps saying hateful things about me. (My aunt always has strong opinions about everyone in the family and how we live our lives)

Problem is, I always let her get to me when I was growing up. I always found myself wanting to do things to please her, but I couldn't ever please her. The older I got, the more I realized I would never be able to please her. But I was ruined (for the time being, not permentantly though).  I spent so much of my life trying to please her, that I started trying to please everyone. Part of that was everyone started talking about me the same way my aunt did. Telling me I was too fat, too quiet, too loud/outspoken, too sensitive, too lazy, too too too...

I still find myself worrying about my not being productive enough in my writerly things. I start hearing my aunt telling me I'm being too lazy and I start worrying that's what's happening. But when I think that, I get too deep into my head. I start trying too hard, trying to force productivity out of myself in a way that's not for me, it's for everyone else. It's for my mom who believes in me too much, not that it's bad for her to have faith in me as a writer, but it's too much pressure. Or I try it to prove my aunt wrong, that I am who I am and look, I can do good things as the person you criticize. I even try to do it for you guys, my blogger buddies, writer buddies, tweeps, AQCers...For all of my online friends, who in reality, know what it's like. The pressure, the wants, needs, productivity woes, and everything else...All you guys who don't judge me by my lack of productivity, y'all who listen and only give helpful advice, friendly words, laughs, and everything positive (even if it's a positive kick in the ass ;P ). The people who I don't have to prove anything to...

And that's when I realized I need to stop obsessing. I am who I am, I love who I am, and some days/weeks/months/years will be good, and some will be bad. But as long as I know who I am and I have people who support me, that's all that matters. And if I can't focus on those good things, I will be stuck trying to force something to happen that won't ever happen right that way.

I know all that matters is if I'm happy with myself and I am. I'm also happy that I have you to make me smile when I need it, or to kick me into gear when I need it. I know you won't let me be lazy...well, most of you won't. :P

Sorry again for the long post, it actually took me by surprise myself, but I did stop trying to force conclusions and reasons. So, yeah, there it is, hope it makes sense because I'm in a hurry(time to pick the girls up from school) and not reading before I hit publish

Lol. Hope you're all having a wonderful Thursday. I'm hoping to be back to a schedule soon. Since I probably won't blog again this week though, have an awesome weekend too. :)

Insecure Writer's Support Group - Secure My Insecurities

I honestly forgot that today was IWSG posting day. Oops. Double oops since I know Alex just had a reminder on his blog. :/ For anyone who does not know what IWSG is, or who Alex is, then click here.

This past month was okay writing-wise. I did get stuck the last week, but it's because I wrote a ton of scenes and need to get them organized.. Once I do that, I can pick right back up.

This past month has been full of crits for me. I've been critiquing so very much lately, but I love doing it-love helping other writers. And thinking of the people who's MSs I'm reading, makes me think of all the success I've seen lately.

When everyone around you-in your field, and a field that's complicated to survive in-is having successes...It's easy to get jealous. A lot of people would and it's a perfectly normal reaction. You're happy for the person, but jealous and wondering when is it going to be your turn.

I'm not one of those people. I have nothing against anyone who is, that's just not me. I'm not one to get jealous very easily. I don't know...I am overjoyed by the amount of success around me. It makes me emotional, happy, so very excited to the point I could explode. Sometimes I sit back and wonder if I'm possibly a little overboard with the excitement.

Oh well, I say. Really, if being oddly excited for someone-even one you hardly know at all-makes you weird, then let me be weird. I just hope I don't come across creepy ever, that'd be awkward...

Anywho... I want to recognize some of the success that has evolved from the insecurities that we writers have, because regardless who you are, you're going to have them at some point.

Ruth Cardello-She's a self-pubbed author who recently hit the New York Times eBook Bestseller list. She's now been on it two weeks in a row and it's such an exciting thing. As if that weren't success enough to be jumping up and down excited for her...She got an agent offer of rep now. And she's done this on her own. She's figured out what works and she's worked so hard at it.

Jamie McGuire-Is the Oklahoma author who wrote Beautiful Disaster which has found its way onto a few bestseller lists AND Warner Bros just picked up the film rights. Now, while I feel happy for everyone, there's a bit of pride I feel from this announcement. I mean, she's an Oklahoma author and that gives me a little more hope. There's just a little extra umph when your hear good news about someone from your state.

Jessica Khoury-Her book isn't even out yet and it's already been optioned. Someone wants to make her unpublished book a movie because it's obviously that effing good. (Now, a producer has picked up the rights to make it a movie, does not mean that it will happen, but eeeep isn't it exciting regardless?) I've not had the chance to read any kind of ARC or anything, but I know that I can't freaking wait for the book to be released. What's that? Oh, whoops, I forgot the title in all my excitement...The book is Origins.

Those are only a fraction of the people who had good news (of course, good news comes in all shapes and sizes so not guaranteeing that all the news this past month had the WOW factor that these three do), but I've *hopefully* gotten my point across.

We all have insecurities, even these ladies in this post, but we push through them because we see what kind of success can be achieved by overcoming our insecurities. And if you don't see it...Look at every bit of good news around you and know that if you want it and are willing to work for it, your day is coming.

So, if you've been feeling insecure lately, remember that. Think of these people and their success, think of someone(s) successful that you know, and know that it can and will happen for you. And always measure success based on the little things. Don't think you need to be a NYT Bestseller to be successful, Ruth has been making sales for a very long time and believe me it was great to hear about those too.

Measure your success by the partial or full request, by a contest won, by sales on your self-pubbed book(s) (ANY sales), mentions and people spreading the word about your work, or even that one lone review you have (or even a few lone-ish reviews :p ) because I promise you, this is all success.

Okay, okay...I realize I've went on and on in this post so I'll stop here. I hope everyone grasped something from this drawn-out thing and I hope too that you all have a wonderful day-insecurities/securities aside.

Happy Wednesday Everyone! :)

Me? Insecure?

Well, it's that time of the month again...no, not THAT time, jeez. I mean it's the first Wednesday and my second post for the Insecure Writer's Support Group! :p For anyone who doesn't know about this group, check out the awesome Alex J Cavanaugh.

Now, to answer the question from my title...Nope, not me. I'm not insecure right now as write this. I haven't been for a few weeks now.

Revisions are going good, in fact I'm very close to being completely done with revisions.

Writing in my WIP is going good. Most days I write at the very least 1k and sometimes even more.

I've found time to work on a ton of critiques and I've been getting great feedback from my CPs.

I 'know' tons of people that have been getting such great news. Publishers and agents, dates for book releases and even some that are just really getting a lot done writing-wise. Plus, several who've entered contests, and for many of them it's their first contest and I'm excited for them getting out there. So many people are getting shit done and I'm so happy for them.

I've even been getting in tons of reading time. Which, is a writer thing because I think all writers should be avid readers.

The point is, this is my second post for IWSG and I have no insecurities to talk about. I wish I could say something and in turn have some words of wisdom or something, but I don't. Sometimes we have bad days or weeks or more, but sometimes we have good ones. Insecurities happen and so do securities. They're both normal things and they both help us to be better, aspire us to do something.

To everyone who's having a rough week, hang in there because your secure week is coming and it's well deserved and worked for. Insecurities are good for the soul, they make you strive for the securities.

Happy IWSG Wednesday :D