Many, if not all of my blog posts are inspired by events that occurred during the day-or at least the event brought on the idea. Tonight my children's Papa(on their dad's side)-John Henry Hill, Sr- lost his fight with cancer (at the age of 77). And between my ex and his siblings, my children and me-it made me curious, How Do You Cope?
Obviously, if you've read anything about me-or know me-you know I cry. Technically, I cry-I write a poem-I cry some more-maybe write another poem, and this is not necessarily the exact order of events, but that is how I cope. For me, nothing helps with the emotions better than crying until it's all out and then writing a poem (again, no particular order). I am different than a lot of people-I've been told by many, many people that I am beyond overly sensitive. I won't argue, sometimes I think my sensitivity is ridiculous-but that is who I am.
I have a huge heart, I kind find something worth loving in pretty much anyone I meet-I search for the good in everyone and everyone gets the benefit of the doubt when I first meet them (and sometimes-even after I see what a jerk they are) It took me a long time to come to terms with the person I am. And even now-I tend to try my hardest to not cry in front of someone because they look at me like I'm crazy. To this day-even my closest friends and family, have no idea exactly how much I cry or how often. Point is-I cry, that's how I cope-with anything. It may be strange or whatever, but it is who I am and there is nothing that can change that.
My kid's dad does not cry-he turns almost every emotion into anger. He keeps a guard on his heart and refuses to let it get hurt-he lets it down for no one. Even in this sad time-the loss of a parent, he will not let the pain, the hurt, the sadness-break him. No tears shed from him. His sisters are split-one of them is cries when sad, one of them lets a little tears shed, but she finds a silver lining and can turn the pain into happiness (in this she just sees it that her dad is better because he is no longer suffering-which is true. He was in so much pain, and these last few days he wasn't even lucid-so yeah, he is better off) The other sister is like my ex, except she does not get angry-she tries to make every situation one with humor. She finds some way-or at least tries-to make a joke, or make someone laugh.
My little ones are not old enough to really understand, but the way they are handling it is probably not typical of every 3 and 5 year old either. My three year old was sad, then curious. We believe in God and we believe in Heaven-it is what I have taught my children as well. And all my three year old wanted to talk about was how nice it is that her Papa gets to be in Heaven and what will he get to do up there. How does it work and who will he see. And in the end-she said, "It will be okay because we will see him again one day." My five year old is sensitive like me-but not quite as bad. She was very sad at first, not crying, but close. She didn't understand why he had to go-why he couldn't just get better. "What about me getting to talk to him," she said. "I wanted to tell him how much I love him, how much I will miss him." After we talked about it a little more she decided it would be okay because he got to be in Heaven and not sick anymore.
On to the last example I have,,,Being that it was my ex's dad, my family is not effected much by it. My mom is a little because she could imagine the feeling of losing a parent(being that she has lost both of hers) and also because, like me, she is sympathetic and has a good heart. She is a little saddened by his passing, but she is also happy that he no longer has to suffer through the cancer. My sister (in general-how she copes) is different completely-she says death is natural and it happens...get over it. She doesn't mourn and she doesn't celebrate-for her, it's just another thing that happens and life keeps on as usual. My dad does not cope with anything. He keeps everything inside and never shows any type of extreme emotion. He gets angry, happy, sad, but he reacts a little to them and then thats it.
Those are just some different examples of how people (in my life) cope. Although I used loss as my subject, I am not talking only about loss. With sadness, anger, pain, happiness-what are you ways of dealing with emotions-strong emotions. In general-How do you cope?