Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Missing Mojo-IWSG Wednesday

So, today was Wednesday, an IWSG Wednesday, and I didn't even realize until now. I went all day knowing it was Wednesday without really knowing it. Last month I forgot all about IWSG.

I thought doing the April A to Z Challenge would help me out of this weird up and down funk I keep finding myself in. It didn't. I finished the challenge and that was it. I didn't even think of my little blog here.

A few years back whenever I decided I wanted to actually attempt to accomplish something with my writing (aside from all the journals of stories and poems), I joined Agent Query and Query Tracker. I was nervous and unsure. I hadn't actually joined the chatroom part of Agent Query yet, but the day I made that step I was a bit scared. And once I was on there and started reading posts by other members, and seeing how long they'd been around, I was so intimidated.

It took a little time. A lot of breaking down of nerve walls. Many revisions, tears, worries, anger even...and friends. Online friends that were just like me. Some that used to be like me and were now those intimidating members. Some that were just getting their toes a little damp when I'd finally dove into the deep end. Guys and girls from different places, in different writing places. Great people that I would've never known if it hadn't been for AQC.

These great people and I chatted in the AQC chat room. Then I started chatting with some in Google chat. Some became my critique partners. Some I just critiqued their stuff. But some were my friends in general. We could talk about writerly things, or regular life things. We got to know each other and I grew to care about them. Now I only talk to one of them most often. Another one more often than the others. And the others hardly ever.

And that's what I realized. When we were all chatting all the time. Doing 1k1hr or passing chapters back and forth, I was motivated. I blogged, tweeted, wrote, critiqued, stayed involved with my writerly things and people. AQC brought us all together and that fueled my motivation...

And one day AQC took down the chat room. It shouldn't have mattered, but even when the chat came back eventually, it wasn't the same(and then they did away with chat again for good this time so no chance at getting back to that). And nothing was the same ever again. Now one of my friends writes, but not like before. She's busy with school and work, and Idk what else because I'm not always the greatest friend these days.

My other friend has needed me for far too long and I haven't been taking the time to talk to her. She never writes anymore and has so much happening right now that Idk when she will write again. And I feel insecure in what I should say or do to help her through her non writerly things. I want to be there for her and I feel like crap because I can't figure out how.

The others may or may not be writing.They may be having a great time at life and they may not. I just don't know.

What I know is when I lost that chat, I lost my mojo. I in no way blame the others, it just happens that losing them, I lost me too.

It's no ones fault but my own, so if any of the 2AMWriters ;P  are reading this, please don't feel like I'm saying it's any of your faults or anything bad. I know it's me.

Just like I know I will figure out a way to get myself out of this hole.

I'm really sorry for the long post, I'll do better with the next one. Idk if I'll post again before the next IWSG, so if not, I hope you all have a wonderful June and I'll catch you next time. :)

Make sure you check out the Insecure Writers Support Group site and also the awesome Alex J Cavanaugh.

8 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Bummer they took down the chat. It's the fellowship that makes all the difference in the world.
BunNo just started this week and they have a Facebook group. Might not be the same as a chat room, but there is a lot of communication.

M.R. R. said...

Hope things improve for you.

dolorah said...

Hopefully you can use the blogs in the same way you used the chats to motivate you for writing, and for interaction with people in general. I go on ups and downs with writing and blogging, but I always know I can find support and friends and maybe even just a laugh by following and visiting other blogs. And eventually, if you put it out there, you will find another Writers Group, or form your own. You never know what you will find here in the blogs.

Debra McKellan said...

I've basically stopped going to AQC altogether at this point. I never felt like I fit in there. *shrugs* I still talk to Terri, SC, and read your posts, obviously. And I miss Peter. lol

Stephanie said...

I definitely know what it's like to lose that writer mojo. I hope you find it again, in some other way, or maybe reconnect with one of your old friends. Good luck!

Beverly Stowe McClure said...

You're so right about needing the friendship and support of other writers. Only another author understands what it's like. Don't give up. Best wishes for you.

diedre Knight said...

You're in the right company with this group! And you're certainly not alone. Maybe it's just time for new mojo? Sending cyber-hugs, hang in there :-)

Tung Nguyen said...

To be better, my friend



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