Until The New Year

Well, I was all set to start posting again and then the holidays caught up to me. Once I realized I hadn't even done an IWSG post, I decided it was time to break until the new year. It'll give me time to deal with all the busy things until January and then I can start my year, fresh and ready to go.

I'm planning on coming back completely in 2014. I've got  lots of things I want to do and work out, and I want to stop with the roller coaster of getting things going and then not...It's time for fresh and once I come back, fresh is what I'll be.

So, until the new year, Merry Christmas(or just Happy Holidays, for those who celebrate other things and not Christmas) and Happy New Year. I'll see you in a few weeks with a clearer head and ready to get back to normal.

I hope you all have a wonderful few weeks. :)

Mention Monday Mashup

Usually when I figure out what to post for Mention Monday, it just sorta comes to me. This time, I couldn't really pin point what I wanted to mention. So, I decided to do something I don't normally do...

I'm going to mention some non-writerly people. They're writers in their own way, but not authors exactly. Also, I know of them because of YouTube, so while they do write, they also vlog. And the vlogging is a main thing. I know a lot of people who follow my blog are writers, so forgive me if y'all don't want to hear about YouTubers. These are some people who either make me laugh, sing lovely, produce awesomely, and all (or close to) the above.

First there's Shane Dawson. I honestly couldn't tell you exactly what it is that makes me want to watch every video his posts, but I do, every time. He actually recently made an announcement that he sold a TV show idea to NBC, so that's pretty awesome. He's got a couple YT channels, so click his name and check him out.(His other YT channel is here)

Now I'm going to group a few people together here because they're all wonderful singers. I love pulling up their YT channels and listening to their covers of songs and then I go buy their songs on Amazon. They all sing lovely and it's inspirational for me...Andrew Garcia, Chester See, Andy Lange, and Josh Golden.

Okay, now this guy I'm about to mention may not be to everyone's taste. If it's not something you like, sorry I suggested you check him out, but still do because you may like him as much as I do. The name is Bart Baker. He does parodies and they make me laugh every time. They're actually pretty catchy too. I love wandering over to his YT channel each Sunday to see what new thing he's got for me.

I'm throwing NigaHiga in here. He's got over 10 million subscribers, so there's a chance some of you all already know of him and watch his videos, but just in case I wanted to mention him. He posts some pretty entertaining videos.

Last, but not least, there's Goopery(AKA Luke Twomey). I found him once when I was looking for Irish accents. And I love his accent, it's very inspirational for me since I've got a lot of Irish characters in my stories. But that aside, he's funny and he says what he says and doesn't give a crap. I like that. He doesn't post regularly, but he does post when he can and you should check him out.

That's it for this week's mentions. A little different, but hopefully y'all will find some entertainment in these people. Maybe you already know of some of them.

Either way, happy Monday! I hope you all had an awesome weekend and it continues into this week. If your weekend wasn't so awesome, I hope you have a week that makes up for the lack of awesome. :)

Mention Monday Is (Not) Going Thru Hell ;)

I vaguely remember the moment I 'met' this person. If memory serves me right (which, we all know it does not do most of the time...) it was on Twitter. I'm fairly certain I said something about where I live and she replied something about how she'd just moved from here. The back and forth on Twitter was extremely short lived, maybe five messages tops, but I've thought of her as a friend ever since. (Maybe I'm a weirdo creepy stalker-like person who has made up this sorta-friendship that's not real at all...) Oh well, I can handle that. :P

Anyway, now she's self-pubbed and out and about all over social networks so much that I felt I needed to put her awesomeness out in the open for anyone who doesn't know her...

So, today's Mention Monday is all about author/editor, T.J. Loveless. When she's not working as an editor, or plotting out new ideas for her characters that are probably lovingly (or not so lovingly ;P ) abused quite frequently, she's (from what I see) a wonderful, loving mother and wife (to a pretty awesome daughter and hubby as well, from what I've seen on FB). TJ works her butt off and whether it's true or not, she appears to keep her shit together very well.

One I decided to make her my mention today, I realized just how much I admire her. TJ finds time to help other writers, work on current editing jobs, check out blogs, write blogs, write books, publish, guest blog, promote her books as well as fellow authors, check and reply to people on Facebook and Twitter, all while being a wonderful friend to many online people she does or doesn't really know...But what makes her truly awesome is, she does all of that while being a mother and wife, two very demanding jobs alone.

She does all of the above and does it with a smile (most of the time). She's exceptional and very deserving of a mention.

If you don't know her, you should. Here are some links to get to know her:

Twitter
Facebook
Blog
Website
Books: Going Thru Hell and Lucky Number Six
Google +
Goodreads

There's a good chance I'm missing other ways to find this awesome woman, but these'll do I'm sure. So, go check her out if you haven't ever and if you know her, keep checking her out and supporting her because she's awesomely awesome.

Happy Monday! Hope you all had a great weekend and are having a wonderful start to the week. :)

Happy IWSG Wednesday

And here we are at yet another first Wednesday of the month. I'm happy to write this post today because I am finally really back on track. Yay!

Crits are caught up, writing is happening (partially thanks to NaNoWriMo which I'm participating in again this year), and editing is coming up soon(once I decide which story I want to revise first). Plus, I've got my blog schedule all worked out and beginning next week, I've got some posts all lined up and ready to go. I was going to get it running a couple weeks back and decided I wanted to get caught up on everything else first.

Now that I am all caught up and back on track, reading blogs and jumping back into social networking will follow.

And then I'm going to keep moving day by day, always worried that I may regress back to where I've been this past year. Always in fear that I will fall behind on everything, not reading, not writing, slowly losing myself...And it'll be okay, I'll be okay. I don't want to lose that worry, because without it, I may forget that feeling of being lost. I may forget myself, losing myself again and that's what will trigger the drop right back into the mess I was.

The worry will keep my insecurities at the front of my mind and I'll just have to make sure it fuels my determination to stay on track. But I've been on this roller coaster long enough to know that insecurities are a necessity. Because if you're never insecure, how do you know what it truly means to be secure? It's just like being successful, if you don't know what it feels like to fail, you can't appreciate that feeling of succeeding. And being the overly emotional person that I am, I like to feel and appreciate it all.

So I'm going to wrap my insecurities around me, then secure them and myself.

Happy Wednesday. I hope you're all having a wonderful week. :)

(Don't forget to check out Alex J Cavanaugh, along with the new IWSG website and Facebook.)

The Resurrection of Mention Monday

I'm back...yay!

So, I've been trying to get my crap together (as you all pretty much know) and I figured I should get my blog back up and running properly to help aid my recovery.

My new schedule is made up (click here if you'd like to read my bloggy plans.) There are some changes and some things the same. Mondays are the same and I've got the perfect way to bring back my Mention Mondays.

As most of my followers are Insecure Writer's Support Group members, this isn't news, but I have to mention the IWSG website and Facebook for my first step back into blogging (more often). If it weren't for Alex and all the other wonderful writers from the IWSG, I probably would've let my blog go. If I let my blog go completely, it'd be gone. Without my blog, my motivation would be lost. And without any sort of motivation, I'd be lost.

I know it's odd that I can say that since I go so long without really posting anything, but it's true. My blogging keeps me tied into my online friends. Tweets get lost in the several other tweets of the more frequent tweeters. FB posts end up getting mingled with the more typical inspirational, funny, or even serious pictures/quotes/articles. The real interaction keeps going best when you've got a blog, posts, and followers who come and talk to you in the comments. (For me at least.)

I'm going to be better at showing how much I truly appreciate you all who come by to see me. Because I honestly do appreciate every comment.

Wait, I'm getting a little off subject here...

Today's mention is for the IWSG because the group is full of awesome people and it's hosted by doubly awesome people. Alex Cavanaugh and all the others who help w/ the new site and FB page are truly wonderful and it's because of them that I haven't totally become- 'I wonder whatever happened to that Kela person...'

So, if you don't know anything about it check the links below. It's worth your time, promise.

Insecure Writer's Support Group Website

IWSG Facebook page

Alex J Cavanaugh: IWSG Founder

IWSG Admins:

J.L. Campbell

Michelle Wallace

Joylene Nowell Butler

Susan Gourly/Kelley

L. Diane Wolfe

Lynda R. Young

So make sure you check out all these links. Even if you're not a writer, at least check out the awesome people because they are, well, awesome. :)

Hope you all have a fantastic Monday. :D

I Think It's Time...

For me to stop being messed up/bipolar/unorganized/unmotivated/behind on everything/crazy. Okay, not that last one, because, seriously...that's just not going to happen. But it is time for me to get it freaking together already.

This is my Insecure Writer's Support Group post for the month. If you don't know what the IWSG is all about, just click here. And thank you Alex for continuing this wonderful group. If you don't know Alex, click here. Also, this month's co-hosts are Julie Luek, Rachna Chabria, Beverly Fox, and Ilima Todd.

I am waiting to find out from my doctor about a few things going on with me lately and my spacey, sleepy all the time, just in general all over the place moods and immune system. Fingers crossed that she lives up to her usual awesomeness and fixes me.

That aside, I'm working up some plans. I've got to get some sort of system in place so I can get things together to make it easier for my currently spacey mind. I'm hoping if it works then I'll be able to get focused on things a little easier no matter what happens at my doctor apt next week.

And with the organizing will come a few things. For one, I'll be able to get caught up on critting better. Also, I should be able to get back to blogging and reading blogs more often. Finally, writing and editing/revising will come easier as well. With my mind being all over the place, so are my ideas. I go to write some on a WIP and another idea hits that I have to go write down and then I'm officially distracted from the WIP I had intentions of working on. But I'm also then distracted from any writing and end up going off to do something else.

If I can get my plan work, I will be able to jump all over the place like my mind wants, but it'll also allow me the focus I need to make myself focus on one WIP and actually write something. It'll be like a give a little, get a little. My mind wants to go crazy, so I will let it go crazy on everything except writing. Writing is the one thing I can't make work if I'm all over the place, so that will be my wild mind's compromise.

That's why I'm working on a good organizing system for myself. Because if I'm going to let my mind go crazy, I need to be better organized so everything doesn't wind up in a jumbled mess all over the place. And I'm really hopeful that it will work.

So, I hope to post more soon and see you all more often on your blogs as well. Funny thing about my wandering mind though, I've been catching up a lot on reading. Idk why I'm able to focus so fully on that when everything else is a jumbled mess of unproductiveness...

Oh well, that's my odd IWSG post for the month. I will see you all later and I hope you have an awesome day/week/month (depending on when I post again). Surely next time I post, I'll be a little more focused...maybe. And don't forget to check out Alex! Have a great day! :)

Call Me Crazy...

I never know exactly what I'll think of for the Insecure Writer's Support Group post until I open up my blogger and just start typing. Sometimes it surprises me and other times, it makes perfect sense before I type the first word.

(Before I get into my post though, let's start this off with a Happy Two Year Anniversary to this wonderful group!)

This month I've been thinking of how up, down, all around my writerly productiveness and whatnot has been. And it makes me smile because only a writer (or artistic type of any sort) could really get how normal that actually is. That's why so many people end up thinking artistic people are crazy. We're not crazy, just moody and all over the place because our minds just go go go. Honestly, the ones with the busiest brains tend to be the ones that we all revere with great respect.

I love Stephen King in the early years, then the longer he went on and the more he published, the crazier he seemed to be. (Not that Stephen King was ever sane by 'normal' standards). But he's brilliant. And no matter how many people read his stories and end up wondering wth, they still read his stories. He's popular, people love him, even though so many people are constantly talking about how insane he is.

But if we weren't a little 'insane', where would we get ideas to write? A clear, 'sane' mind could write a good story, but who wants to be good? No true writer aspires to tell a good story, we want to tell a great one. We want to pull people into our insane minds so they can realize how sane we really are. They need to understand that if it weren't for what they call madness, we wouldn't have Stephen King, Edgar Allen Poe, Ernest Hemingway(and so many more 'crazy' writers)...Those crazy writers gave us amazing things because it takes madness to come up with unique ideas that scream for attention.

Have you been to a psychiatric facility? If so, have you ever noticed how many of those 'crazy' people are talented? Painting, crafting, writing...Maybe no one is truly crazy, they just haven't found a way or been allowed to express themselves properly. Who knows? Maybe I'm all over the place lately because I'm just going crazy... :P

Well, that's my IWSG post for this month. If you learn nothing else from it, at least you all know I'm losing/have lost my mind. ;D

Go on over to Alex J Cavanaugh and check him out, he's pretty awesome if you don't already know. And CONGRATS to Alex for receiving the Pinnacle Book Achievement Award for your book CassaFire!

Also, the co-hosts for September are:

Chemist Ken http://hogwartssabbatical.blogspot.com/

SL Hennessey http://pensuasion.blogspot.com/

Michelle Wallace http://www.writer-in-transit.co.za/

Joylene Nowell Butler http://cluculzwriter.blogspot.com/

 

That's it. Hope you all have an awesome Wednesday and I'll see you soon. :)

Late IWSG and Some other stuff...

Lol, I know, bad title, but I was blank..

(Long post, sorry. :/ )

So, I've been so busy trying to squeeze as much time in with the kids before school started back up that I forgot yesterday was the first Wednesday of this month. It's been crazy here and I'm on the fence torn between so glad that school is back in and so sad that school is back in and my girls aren't home.

(Side Note: Here they are this morning before I took them to school-

 But don't be fooled, they're all sugar on the outside and pure pixie madness on the inside. :P  )

Okay, onto the IWSG...

That's Insecure Writer's Support Group for anyone who doesn't know about the group...and if you don't, you should. Alex J Cavanaugh is behind the awesomeness of this group because he's full of awesomeness so go check him out.

I tend to not like reflecting on certain aspects of myself. Speculations and conclusions that aren't real or even genuine ideas that I truly believe just for the fact that I don't want to really think of why I can't do anything. However, I started a new diet and exercise plan, not just to lose weight, but because I want to get healthy. Plus, my oldest and I both have sensitive stomachs so we decided to try out a gluten-free diet. It's worked so wonderfully that now we rarely have stomach aches at all, unless we cheat and eat gluten. Then we're in pain wishing we hadn't been so weak, giving into something we know we're better off without. Although I've got this new diet and exercise plan going, on top of the fact that I quit smoking (something I've wanted to do for a long time and now it's been months since I smoked at all), my aunt keeps saying hateful things about me. (My aunt always has strong opinions about everyone in the family and how we live our lives)

Problem is, I always let her get to me when I was growing up. I always found myself wanting to do things to please her, but I couldn't ever please her. The older I got, the more I realized I would never be able to please her. But I was ruined (for the time being, not permentantly though).  I spent so much of my life trying to please her, that I started trying to please everyone. Part of that was everyone started talking about me the same way my aunt did. Telling me I was too fat, too quiet, too loud/outspoken, too sensitive, too lazy, too too too...

I still find myself worrying about my not being productive enough in my writerly things. I start hearing my aunt telling me I'm being too lazy and I start worrying that's what's happening. But when I think that, I get too deep into my head. I start trying too hard, trying to force productivity out of myself in a way that's not for me, it's for everyone else. It's for my mom who believes in me too much, not that it's bad for her to have faith in me as a writer, but it's too much pressure. Or I try it to prove my aunt wrong, that I am who I am and look, I can do good things as the person you criticize. I even try to do it for you guys, my blogger buddies, writer buddies, tweeps, AQCers...For all of my online friends, who in reality, know what it's like. The pressure, the wants, needs, productivity woes, and everything else...All you guys who don't judge me by my lack of productivity, y'all who listen and only give helpful advice, friendly words, laughs, and everything positive (even if it's a positive kick in the ass ;P ). The people who I don't have to prove anything to...

And that's when I realized I need to stop obsessing. I am who I am, I love who I am, and some days/weeks/months/years will be good, and some will be bad. But as long as I know who I am and I have people who support me, that's all that matters. And if I can't focus on those good things, I will be stuck trying to force something to happen that won't ever happen right that way.

I know all that matters is if I'm happy with myself and I am. I'm also happy that I have you to make me smile when I need it, or to kick me into gear when I need it. I know you won't let me be lazy...well, most of you won't. :P

Sorry again for the long post, it actually took me by surprise myself, but I did stop trying to force conclusions and reasons. So, yeah, there it is, hope it makes sense because I'm in a hurry(time to pick the girls up from school) and not reading before I hit publish

Lol. Hope you're all having a wonderful Thursday. I'm hoping to be back to a schedule soon. Since I probably won't blog again this week though, have an awesome weekend too. :)

Busy Busy

Time to be an insecure (or secure) writer for the month. I'm not sure if I'm either really. I'm not feeling that insecure, but I'm not feeling that secure either...

Head over to Alex J Cavanaugh's blog to check him out and read about the IWSG while you're there.

Last month I said I was hoping to be writing again, working my way to 1k a day...It hasn't happened yet, not even the 1k a week. But I am writing more than I was for a while. I've fallen a little behind on my critiques for my group, but I'll catch up.

I've been really busy this summer. It's strange because I feel busier this year than I was last year. Last summer I was constantly going. Writing and blogging, critiquing and reading, plus trying to keep my kids entertained all while running on little to no sleep. This year, I'm ready for bed before my kids are and that makes it hard to find time for writerly things. I mean, I spend all day doing things with the girls which makes me too busy for writer things, then bedtime rolls around and I just want to crash. Honestly though, I'd rather be having fun with my kids instead of throwing them to the TV or something so that I can do something for myself.

Eventually I'll get it balanced out so that I can do it all, but until then, I'm going to write, read, and blog when I can and try not to stress about it.

I have been getting caught up on reading. I used to read a book a day, maybe one every couple of days. I'm not quite there yet, but I am reading and that's what counts.

Anyway, I hope you're all doing well, I really need to catch up on my blog lists. I'm so out of the loop and I'm sure so many of you have great things going on. Add that to my list. Write, read, critique, blog, read blogs...

And there it is, hope you're all having an awesome week. :)

Bleh Blehbleh

So, that's supposed to sound like the Dracula on Hotel Transylvania. My kids and I were being silly the other day and they got me doing the 'bleh blehbleh' thing that drac does in the movie. 'Why does everyone say that? I do not say 'bleh blehbleh' For some reason that's what came to mind when I was working on a name for this blog.

Anyway, lol, moving on...

This is my Insecure Writer's Support Group post. Hop on over to Alex Cavanaugh's blog to read up on exactly what the IWSG is and check Alex out too because he's awesome and you should already know who he is.

May breezed on by with barely productivity happening. However, in my defense of myself feeling negative about my lack of productivity...end of the school year crap had me very busy all of May.

Now it's June and I'm ready to set some real goals that I will really keep this time.

No, really, I'm for real sticking to it...maybe. :p

I'm setting a goal to write at least 1k a week. That's not much at all, but once I see if I can actually stick with that goal, then I'll move it up. Considering I used to write more than 1k a day, I'm hoping to get back there very soon.

I'm going to write out a list of books I need to get to reading. (If you've got any suggestions whether you think I've read them or not, tell me in the comments so I can put them on my TBR)

And I'm going to keep caught up on crits. Right now, I'm doing pretty good there, kind of.

Guess that's it. A weird IWSG post I suppose, but that's all I've got to say writer-related.

Hope you're having a great week and have a great rest of the week. And hopefully I'll post a whole lot more very soon. :)

Yay!

I got my bracelets today, yes that's plural. The awesomely fantastically wonderful Ali Cross sent me two bracelets! So now if one breaks, I'll have a back up. Thanks, Ali! :D

Honestly, I have nothing else to say, just excited about the bracelets lol.

It's Wednesday, and hot outside, plus I'm behind on critiques. Planning on catching up today, and maybe even finding some time to write. I have some cleaning to do though and getting caught up on crits are more important to me, so we'll see what happens. On the bright side, I'm anxious to get back into writerly stuff more. I think the nicer weather is picking me up.

I hope you all have/are having a wonderful Wednesday. :)

Happy Mother's Day (a little late), with a side of Meh for Monday

I intended to post something for the moms out there. Nothing too special, just a little note to say Happy Mother's Day and you're awesome. Then I forgot about it because my weekend flew by oh so fast.  So, all the moms out there (even the ones whose children are of the furry and/or feathered kind), you're awesome. Perhaps I'm slightly biased because I am a mom myself, but I think moms are so wonderful. It could also be the fact that my own mom is so wonderful. Either way, happy Mother's Day (a day late) and I hope your day was as awesome as you!

Now, onto the MEH...

My weeks and weekends are full of cleaning. I haven't quite found that balance of some cleaning/organizing and the other stuff (like writing/critiquing/blogging/etc). I'm still working on it and I constantly dream about writing, think up new WIP ideas, and even beg father time to give me one day where time stands still long enough for me to catch up...

Since it hasn't happened, I'm just going to keep on pushing myself to get back where I want to be.

Luckily, one of my best friends and CPs is finally out of school and now will have a little more time to write and whatnot, so that should help me. She's also back to blogging and you can check her out over here. Her name is Kendra and I know I've got followers who follow her already, but in case you don't, you should because she's awesome. :)

I think that's it. I haven't had much time to visit blogs, but I'm working on it. And sometimes I visit and don't comment because I just have enough time to skim through. I hope to change this very very soon.

I hope you all have a wonderful Monday (and week if I end up not posting again this week :/ ).

Goals Not Going So Well

This months Insecure Writer's Support Group post (group brought to you by the fantastic Alex J Cavanaugh) is all about my insecurities of not being able to complete my goals like I want to.


I haven't been doing completely terrible with my goals, but I haven't been doing very great with them either. Critiques are going okay, writing is going about the pace of a snail, and reading is going even slower than that-as in not going at all.

I've been an insecure writer for months now, I want to have a post that is full of wonderful things. That post may not be today, but I know it's coming soon.

Until then, I'm critiquing and working on finding my writing mojo again. Reading will come when the critiquing and writing flows easier. It's hard for me to focus on reading when I'm feeling like I haven't been productive enough.

Oh and one last thing, an update for those of you who read my post about the bracelet...I talked to the awesomely wonderful Ali Cross and she said she will send me a new one (a couple actually). Yay!

So, that's my ISWG post for this month. Insecurities want to take control, but I won't let them. I will make it through very soon.

I hope you're all having a wonderful week. :)

Just a Little Venting...

Just some thoughts I've had lately that I want to vent...

Low income family does not equate to a piece of crap person/people. Sometimes the world is tough, breaks don't come easy nor do they come often. Sometimes people just need to catch a break, to know that there is someone out there who cares. Sometimes people just need a little help, or even a lot of help. It happens, but it doesn't make that person/those people any less than anyone else.

Pro-choice...there is nothing wrong with it. No matter what you believe about something, it doesn't matter. If someone else wants to make the choice to abort a pregnancy, it's their choice to make. I personally would never have an abortion, but that is my choice. Just because I would choose something different for myself, does not give me the right to force my choices on others.

Equal rights, are just that...No one should be told who they can marry, how they should feel, what they should believe. Everyone has the right to be with whomever they choose, believe however they believe, and feel however they feel. What happened to that? We're supposed to be a free country, so why is it that we're only free if we're feeling/believing/etc however certain people say we should? Freedom is not something you can manipulate and conform so that it fits into whatever you think. And I love it when religion comes into play with this one...Isn't it religion/religious people that boast about free will?

Rape is exactly what it is, someone forcing themselves on another person. If a hooker gets raped, it's still rape. If a drunk woman gets raped, it's still rape. If someone can not give coherent consent to have sexual relations with someone, it is rape. And no one asks for it, ever. I've never experienced rape, it's actually one of my biggest fears. But if I walked into a room full of men (or women), naked, and was grinding on every single one of them, if I said no to anything and they kept going-it would be rape. I will never be able to understand how anyone could believe otherwise.

If a woman wants to take birth control, she should be allowed to and it should be covered. All contraceptives should be covered by insurance, no excuses. It should not be difficult at all for someone to obtain birth control, period.

I don't normally speak on anything political or religious because my views are not always the same as others and I'm stubborn and believe completely how I believe. I also believe everyone has the right to believe how they want, regardless if I agree or not. I don't discuss my views openly very often because I do not like debating about them and don't like people trying to show me why what I believe is wrong. Plus, I've learned that having different beliefs can ruin relationships (all kinds-friend, family, acquaintances). I only wrote this post to vent because these are things that have been in my mind lately and this is my blog so I figure I can use a post to vent if I want.

Read it or ignore, comment on it, or don't. I will not be hurt either way. I know my blog is typically writing-related, I'm sorry I went here today and hope I don't offend anyone by anything I said. If we have different beliefs, it's okay. And no worries, my next post won't be like this one. In fact, I doubt I'll write anything like this ever again, or at the very least-no time soon.

Vent over.

I hope you all have a wonderful Tuesday and I should be posting again tomorrow or Thursday :)

Progress

Last year, I won some nice prizes from contests I entered in. Many of the things I got were books that I've either read or they're still on the TBR, but one non-book item I won was a bracelet. I'm not sure exactly why, but I wore that bracelet every single day, all day long-never took it off. It broke last week and I was able to fix it enough to wear it for almost another week before it broke completely. Now, I must find a way to get another one...if that's even possible. I feel so naked without it, which is weird because I honestly am not quite sure why I was so attached to it in the first place.

I'm sure part of my attachment was just because it was something I won, and I don't win things very often. Plus, it was something from one of my now favorite authors and people. I'm going to email her and see if there's a way to get another...

Anyway, that was just something on my mind. Other than that, my goals are progressing okay. I just got caught up with my group, for now. There will be at least one new post very soon so I'll have to keep on it. I'm going to start one of my non-group related critiques sometime today. I can now put more focus into my writing too since I tend to force myself not to write when I'm behind on my group. Same with reading. Oh and I tweeted yesterday, only a couple tweets, but it's something. It'll take a bit for me to get used to that again, but I'm getting there.

I guess that's pretty much it. Hopefully I'll get back into my blogging groove and be able to write up some real posts. I mean, sure these are real posts, but I like to post about more than just what's going on with my life. It'll come though, I'm not going to stress over it.

Hope you all have a great Wednesday. :)

And Go...

I did get writing in this weekend. Problem with the 500 words thing is that I kept deleting more than I wrote so I didn't quite get there. But I did work on a wip and that's what matters.

I'm also charging up my Kindle so I can start reading something today, I've got so many books to choose from, I have no idea where I'll start.

Here I am, writing a blog post, the first of three I will do this week. And I will be visiting a couple blogs sometime later.

There are two posts for my group that I will critique today. I'm behind on them, they should've already been critted, but better late than never. And there's nothing new yet, so I can't start progress on my critting in a timely manner goal.

That's about it I guess. We had a busy weekend because my oldest has decided that she's just going to be 16 right now-at least in attitude since she's really only 6. It's getting annoying and old, but we're working on it. Hopefully within the next few weeks I will have figured something out to make her stop acting up so much. Of course I'm mean, she hates her life, and nothing is fair so who knows.

Anyway, I hope you all have a great Monday. :)

Goals...

So I just realized I didn't post anything for IWSG again this month. Honestly, I can't remember if I did last month. I'm really at a point that I'm so annoyed with myself and yet no matter what, I can't get back to where I was last year.

I miss writing, blogging, reading, critiquing, tweeting, etc...Yet when I try to get myself back into it all, I fail. I'm struggling to find the balance in everything and finding it easier to just do nothing.

I'm always cleaning up behind my kids, cooking, doing laundry, and by the time I take time in front of the computer, I don't want to do a damn thing productive, I just want to sit. It's making me crazy though. I don't really want that, I mean I do, but I don't. I'm not really sure how to explain it. What I know completely is that it has to stop.

I started doing better with my crit group-of course part of that was being presented the idea of not being in the group anymore, which I didn't want at all- but then I fell back on that a little this week (and last a little). I've tried so many different things to get myself back where I want to be, back to doing what I want to be doing. Nothing has worked.

Last week I started thinking of ways to fix it all, and nothing really came to mind other than setting goals and forcing myself to stick with it until I get back into a groove that I can keep up without force. So I made some goals and I'm going to hope you all can help keep me on track. I'm going to post about my progress because you've all been really great supporters and I think it'll help me be able to keep myself on track.

Here's the plan:

• Begin posting at least three times a week on my blog. (Starting Monday, April 15)
• Write at least 500 words a day on any of my WIPs (I've got about 5 at them moment lol). (Starting today, Friday April 12)
• Read at least one chapter from a book on my extremely lengthy TBR a day. (Starting Monday, April 15)
• Finish every group critique by three days after it's posted. (This will have to start after the next posts go up because I'm already behind on what's posted as of right now)
• Catch up on crits that are in my inbox. (I have one that I got WAY TOO LONG AGO and it's top priority. That one will be done by Sunday, April 21 preferably sooner. Another is only one or two chapters and I want it done by April 30. And another is an entire book so beginning April 21 I'll do a chapter a day until it's done.)
• Begin reading at least 2 blog posts a day and moving to a higher number once I'm doing good with that. (Starting Monday, April 15)
• Tweeting will come easier after I get going good with all this, but I want to be back to that by May 20.

That's the writerly plan, I'll have to work real life around all of that, but I will have to make myself be able to do writerly and real life. I did it before so I know I can do it again. I just have to get back into the routine.

Even though it's late, that's basically my insecurities I've felt lately...disappointment and annoyance with myself. Hopefully sticking to this plan will help that. Thanks to everyone who comments on all my post lately, the support does help.

I hope you all have an awesome weekend. :)

Still Around...

I've been away from my blog for soooo long. I hate it, but I can't think of a revival. I want to blog, yet my mind is blank when I try to think of what to blog about. Maybe I'll just have to start random blogging as I think of stuff and work my way back into a groove of some sort.

I really want to do the A-Z challenge again this year, but I have no clue what to blog about anymore so Idk...

Group crits are caught up, but still catching up on my one on ones. And I haven't written anything in weeks, but I'm working on getting back to it. Oh, and I haven't read anything in a long time either.

I think I'll spend what's left of March trying to finish getting my crap together and hopefully come April I'll have it all worked out.

Just wanted to say hey to my followers and let everyone know I'm still around, just working on it. Hope everyone has a great weekend and I'll see you very soon. :)

I Think My Insecurities Have Insecurities...

Okay, I'm a couple days late with this because I forgot about it. (And I don't have the ISWG pic because I haven't saved it to this new computer yet) But, better late than not at all. This is my Insecure Writer's Support Group post and if you don't know about it, head on over to the awesome Alex J Cavanaugh's blog and check it out.

So, you saw the title...Let's see if I can make sense of it. I'm so insecure right now that I'm pretty sure my insecurities are becoming insecure and making me even more insecure.

I haven't done very many writerly things lately, it's been way too long. And since it's been so long, I can't seem to get my crap together and get back in the game. I find myself wondering if I'll even be able to write again. What if I sit down, open up one of my WIPs, and can't write anything? What if I do write something and it's terrible? What if I forget where I was going with the stories I've already started? What if, what if, what if...

Then there's critiquing...What if I'm not good enough to critique anymore? What if I have nothing helpful to say? What if I miss something that isn't right because I forgot that it's not right? What if I point out something because I think it's wrong, but it's not? What if, what if, what if...

And can't forget blogging...I'm afraid to blog because I'm not sure what to blog about. Then I find myself wondering the same, what if. What if I post something no one wants to read? What if I post something and I sound like an idiot? What if, what if, what if...

What if I am so out of the social and writerly loop that I can't find my way back in? What if I'm so lost that the path is gone to me? What if I just can't do it anymore? What if in losing myself, I've lost everything I've worked on, time I put in, friends I've made...What if I've messed up and people think I'm just a flake and I can't be taken seriously and I'm not worth the time of even paying any attention to what I have to say?

I've never felt so insecure in my life. This is my rock bottom I think. I wasn't even sure I'd write this post honestly. I'm not used to being that insecure and I'm definitely not that used to talking about it.

I do want to say, I thought over some of those 'what ifs' prior to posting this. I did squash some of the negative thoughts. I may not be completely sure that I will still be able to write, but I think so. I mean, I have to be able to. I love it, want it, need it. There's too much in my head, I'd go nuts if I didn't find a way to put it into stories. Most of the other 'what ifs' are still there, but I won't know until I try. I'm not even sure how to make myself get back into the groove, but I WILL figure it out. I can't give up no matter how long it takes me to claw myself out of this pile of funk.

Anyway, this post went on for longer than I intended, so that's it. These are my insecurities at the moment...sorry I was late with the post.

I hope you all have an awesome weekend :)

Quick Update

I haven't completely vanished, just waiting for February in hopes that it will bring my GREAT new year...

January is so not my friend this year. My grandma passed. I spent the first week and a half sick and here I am sick again. I was actually not even well for two weeks. Ugh. And to top it off, my laptop broke. With all of this going on, my blog and many other things have taken a backseat. I've already been out of it for a while and I'm to a point that I really hate it. I want to get my blog back up and running. I want to write, critique, query, tweet, etc etc...I want back to where I was and I will get there.

The geek squad guy told me 10-14 days for my laptop to be finished. It's already been 14 and they haven't even started it so I'm not sure when it will be done. I'm hoping it will happen by the beginning of February which is why I've decided to ignore January and wait for my new year to come next month.

Just wanted to give y'all an update, so there it is. I will see you soon and I hope you're all doing good. :)

IWSG

Today is the first Insecure Writer's Support Group post of 2013. Thanks Alex for keeping this great group going. All you writers who don't know about IWSG, go here now. And for anyone who has managed to not know the awesomeness that is Alex J Cavanaugh, go here now.

I wasn't sure if I'd get a post done because I've been sick and my grandma is in intensive care at the hospital. But I'm home for a bit because there's nothing I can do up there right now and I figured being sick I shouldn't hang around too much anyway.

So I am home and writing my post, although I don't really have a lot to say. I haven't written in a few weeks because of being sick. I still have three WIPs going, just a little stalled while I get better. I can say that I have high hopes for this new year. It may not have started out that great, but it's going to work out better.

Not that great of an IWSG post, but I got one up. I'm also realizing my blog posts keep turning out to sound a little sad/depressing...I am not sad and don't mean for my post to come across that way if it does.

I hope you all have a great day and a wonderful new year. :)

Happy 2013!

I wasn't going to write a post because I've been so sick the last three weeks and already know I need a post for tomorrow, but I can't not say something new year related...

I always look forward to a new year because it's opportunity, endless choices, moods, everything and anything. A new year gives hope to us all that we can improve and have a better year than the last, or continue to have a wonderful year that matches the greatness of the previous one. Or even the chance to make the new year even better than the fantastic last year. Endless possibilities.

My year was not so great in 2012. I had so many more downs than ups, too many. I cried more tears last year than I have any other year and I've lost loved ones in other years. My Lupus acted up way too much, when it wasn't acting up I was sick in general. I had moments that I wasn't too bad, but not enough. I was tired, so tired, all the time. Behind on work and lost in life. Lost in general.

In 2012 I made new friends, bonded closer with old friends, and drifted away from really great friends that I shouldn't have drifted away from. I finished a book-completely finished it-completed NaNo, and now have 3 WIPs in the works. I critiqued for over 10 people, read books over and over that I couldn't count toward my Goodreads goal because they're not published.

So much happiness and success was found in 2012. So many writers got agents and book deals-both even. It was the year of AQCers too. It was ridiculous (in a good way) how many success stories kept being posted. And not just AQCers though, so many writers were successful. Self-pubbers, Indie pubbed, Traditional, all had so much good news happening. I was YAY YAY YAYing left and right because not just getting signed, people were getting requests. Even if those requests were ultimately rejections, still awesome in general.

And I failed-over and over. But don't get all no don't say that! I'm okay with it. I know I struggled, fell so far behind I couldn't begin to see where to catch up. I know that I let people down who were expecting me to be there for them, to critique for them or just help on little things. I know because I know I hit a funk so bad that it ruined my mojo. Took that mojo, balled it up, burnt it, crumbled it, swept it into a jar, and tossed it out into the ocean where a shark chomped it down...Yeah, the funk was that bad, almost worse really. I still haven't come out of it completely. I'm still behind on critiques and reading, and writing, but I'll get there.

That's my resolution for the year-get back on point. I plan to get my head in the game and stay focused. My blog is neglected, my WIPs are neglected, my critique partners and group is neglected, I've got a doc that should have a query letter typed on it, and there is a book list a mile long waiting for me.

So, do you have a resolution(s) for 2013? Are you the kind of person who usually makes resolutions? Are you glad to see 2012 go and 2013 roll on in? (I am!)

Have an AWESOME Happy New Year! See you tomorrow. :)