Regrets

In my short 29 years of living I've done a lot of things. I've smoked, drank, had sex, stripped(well, I never really took anything off and it was only for 2 days, but still...), tried drugs, and honestly more things that I think I'll leave up in the air. Point is that I never was one to be afraid to try something. Until I had kids I used to say I'd try anything once, twice if I like it. I dropped that motto a long time ago though.

I like to say it's because I grew up, which is true, but man it kinda sucks. I grew up a little too much. It makes it hard to be a parent when you forget how to be a kid. Sometimes I say or do something and think, damn I turned into one of those bitter boring old ladies and I'm still so young.

Once I didn't care what anyone had to say about anything I did. But somewhere I got it into my head that to be grown up, you have to care what others think. You have to constantly worry what someone may say if you do this or that. And the more I thought that, the more paranoid about every single thing I became. Everything I did, or thought about doing I had to stop and think about what may happen. Even stupid things that didn't really matter.

Eventually I balanced out a little and I'm not as concerned. I realized I am who I am and if you don't like it, I don't care. But there's still that little voice asking me if I'm really okay with that.

When people used to ask me something I've done that I regret, I always said nothing. Regretting is for people who wish their life was different. Are there things that happened in my life that I hate? Sure. But each of those things got me to where I am now and for the most part, I'm okay with that. And anything I'm not okay with wouldn't be different if I could've gone back and changed something.

Of course now I do regret one thing and that's growing up too much. I regret losing that open part of myself that let me have more fun. If I could go back and change anything, I'd go back to whenever I forgot how to be a kid and I'd change that one little thing.

But as soon as I think that, I stop and think-what would that change? Changing anything from your past can affect your present and future. I don't think anything is worth risking that. And that is all it takes to keep me from holding any regrets. It is what it is and everything happens for a reason-good or bad.

And sorry about the lengthy post. I'll do better with S...maybe :p

I hope you all have a great day and that you don't have any regrets. :)