Progress

Last year, I won some nice prizes from contests I entered in. Many of the things I got were books that I've either read or they're still on the TBR, but one non-book item I won was a bracelet. I'm not sure exactly why, but I wore that bracelet every single day, all day long-never took it off. It broke last week and I was able to fix it enough to wear it for almost another week before it broke completely. Now, I must find a way to get another one...if that's even possible. I feel so naked without it, which is weird because I honestly am not quite sure why I was so attached to it in the first place.

I'm sure part of my attachment was just because it was something I won, and I don't win things very often. Plus, it was something from one of my now favorite authors and people. I'm going to email her and see if there's a way to get another...

Anyway, that was just something on my mind. Other than that, my goals are progressing okay. I just got caught up with my group, for now. There will be at least one new post very soon so I'll have to keep on it. I'm going to start one of my non-group related critiques sometime today. I can now put more focus into my writing too since I tend to force myself not to write when I'm behind on my group. Same with reading. Oh and I tweeted yesterday, only a couple tweets, but it's something. It'll take a bit for me to get used to that again, but I'm getting there.

I guess that's pretty much it. Hopefully I'll get back into my blogging groove and be able to write up some real posts. I mean, sure these are real posts, but I like to post about more than just what's going on with my life. It'll come though, I'm not going to stress over it.

Hope you all have a great Wednesday. :)

And Go...

I did get writing in this weekend. Problem with the 500 words thing is that I kept deleting more than I wrote so I didn't quite get there. But I did work on a wip and that's what matters.

I'm also charging up my Kindle so I can start reading something today, I've got so many books to choose from, I have no idea where I'll start.

Here I am, writing a blog post, the first of three I will do this week. And I will be visiting a couple blogs sometime later.

There are two posts for my group that I will critique today. I'm behind on them, they should've already been critted, but better late than never. And there's nothing new yet, so I can't start progress on my critting in a timely manner goal.

That's about it I guess. We had a busy weekend because my oldest has decided that she's just going to be 16 right now-at least in attitude since she's really only 6. It's getting annoying and old, but we're working on it. Hopefully within the next few weeks I will have figured something out to make her stop acting up so much. Of course I'm mean, she hates her life, and nothing is fair so who knows.

Anyway, I hope you all have a great Monday. :)

Goals...

So I just realized I didn't post anything for IWSG again this month. Honestly, I can't remember if I did last month. I'm really at a point that I'm so annoyed with myself and yet no matter what, I can't get back to where I was last year.

I miss writing, blogging, reading, critiquing, tweeting, etc...Yet when I try to get myself back into it all, I fail. I'm struggling to find the balance in everything and finding it easier to just do nothing.

I'm always cleaning up behind my kids, cooking, doing laundry, and by the time I take time in front of the computer, I don't want to do a damn thing productive, I just want to sit. It's making me crazy though. I don't really want that, I mean I do, but I don't. I'm not really sure how to explain it. What I know completely is that it has to stop.

I started doing better with my crit group-of course part of that was being presented the idea of not being in the group anymore, which I didn't want at all- but then I fell back on that a little this week (and last a little). I've tried so many different things to get myself back where I want to be, back to doing what I want to be doing. Nothing has worked.

Last week I started thinking of ways to fix it all, and nothing really came to mind other than setting goals and forcing myself to stick with it until I get back into a groove that I can keep up without force. So I made some goals and I'm going to hope you all can help keep me on track. I'm going to post about my progress because you've all been really great supporters and I think it'll help me be able to keep myself on track.

Here's the plan:

• Begin posting at least three times a week on my blog. (Starting Monday, April 15)
• Write at least 500 words a day on any of my WIPs (I've got about 5 at them moment lol). (Starting today, Friday April 12)
• Read at least one chapter from a book on my extremely lengthy TBR a day. (Starting Monday, April 15)
• Finish every group critique by three days after it's posted. (This will have to start after the next posts go up because I'm already behind on what's posted as of right now)
• Catch up on crits that are in my inbox. (I have one that I got WAY TOO LONG AGO and it's top priority. That one will be done by Sunday, April 21 preferably sooner. Another is only one or two chapters and I want it done by April 30. And another is an entire book so beginning April 21 I'll do a chapter a day until it's done.)
• Begin reading at least 2 blog posts a day and moving to a higher number once I'm doing good with that. (Starting Monday, April 15)
• Tweeting will come easier after I get going good with all this, but I want to be back to that by May 20.

That's the writerly plan, I'll have to work real life around all of that, but I will have to make myself be able to do writerly and real life. I did it before so I know I can do it again. I just have to get back into the routine.

Even though it's late, that's basically my insecurities I've felt lately...disappointment and annoyance with myself. Hopefully sticking to this plan will help that. Thanks to everyone who comments on all my post lately, the support does help.

I hope you all have an awesome weekend. :)

Still Around...

I've been away from my blog for soooo long. I hate it, but I can't think of a revival. I want to blog, yet my mind is blank when I try to think of what to blog about. Maybe I'll just have to start random blogging as I think of stuff and work my way back into a groove of some sort.

I really want to do the A-Z challenge again this year, but I have no clue what to blog about anymore so Idk...

Group crits are caught up, but still catching up on my one on ones. And I haven't written anything in weeks, but I'm working on getting back to it. Oh, and I haven't read anything in a long time either.

I think I'll spend what's left of March trying to finish getting my crap together and hopefully come April I'll have it all worked out.

Just wanted to say hey to my followers and let everyone know I'm still around, just working on it. Hope everyone has a great weekend and I'll see you very soon. :)

I Think My Insecurities Have Insecurities...

Okay, I'm a couple days late with this because I forgot about it. (And I don't have the ISWG pic because I haven't saved it to this new computer yet) But, better late than not at all. This is my Insecure Writer's Support Group post and if you don't know about it, head on over to the awesome Alex J Cavanaugh's blog and check it out.

So, you saw the title...Let's see if I can make sense of it. I'm so insecure right now that I'm pretty sure my insecurities are becoming insecure and making me even more insecure.

I haven't done very many writerly things lately, it's been way too long. And since it's been so long, I can't seem to get my crap together and get back in the game. I find myself wondering if I'll even be able to write again. What if I sit down, open up one of my WIPs, and can't write anything? What if I do write something and it's terrible? What if I forget where I was going with the stories I've already started? What if, what if, what if...

Then there's critiquing...What if I'm not good enough to critique anymore? What if I have nothing helpful to say? What if I miss something that isn't right because I forgot that it's not right? What if I point out something because I think it's wrong, but it's not? What if, what if, what if...

And can't forget blogging...I'm afraid to blog because I'm not sure what to blog about. Then I find myself wondering the same, what if. What if I post something no one wants to read? What if I post something and I sound like an idiot? What if, what if, what if...

What if I am so out of the social and writerly loop that I can't find my way back in? What if I'm so lost that the path is gone to me? What if I just can't do it anymore? What if in losing myself, I've lost everything I've worked on, time I put in, friends I've made...What if I've messed up and people think I'm just a flake and I can't be taken seriously and I'm not worth the time of even paying any attention to what I have to say?

I've never felt so insecure in my life. This is my rock bottom I think. I wasn't even sure I'd write this post honestly. I'm not used to being that insecure and I'm definitely not that used to talking about it.

I do want to say, I thought over some of those 'what ifs' prior to posting this. I did squash some of the negative thoughts. I may not be completely sure that I will still be able to write, but I think so. I mean, I have to be able to. I love it, want it, need it. There's too much in my head, I'd go nuts if I didn't find a way to put it into stories. Most of the other 'what ifs' are still there, but I won't know until I try. I'm not even sure how to make myself get back into the groove, but I WILL figure it out. I can't give up no matter how long it takes me to claw myself out of this pile of funk.

Anyway, this post went on for longer than I intended, so that's it. These are my insecurities at the moment...sorry I was late with the post.

I hope you all have an awesome weekend :)