Missing Mojo-IWSG Wednesday

So, today was Wednesday, an IWSG Wednesday, and I didn't even realize until now. I went all day knowing it was Wednesday without really knowing it. Last month I forgot all about IWSG.

I thought doing the April A to Z Challenge would help me out of this weird up and down funk I keep finding myself in. It didn't. I finished the challenge and that was it. I didn't even think of my little blog here.

A few years back whenever I decided I wanted to actually attempt to accomplish something with my writing (aside from all the journals of stories and poems), I joined Agent Query and Query Tracker. I was nervous and unsure. I hadn't actually joined the chatroom part of Agent Query yet, but the day I made that step I was a bit scared. And once I was on there and started reading posts by other members, and seeing how long they'd been around, I was so intimidated.

It took a little time. A lot of breaking down of nerve walls. Many revisions, tears, worries, anger even...and friends. Online friends that were just like me. Some that used to be like me and were now those intimidating members. Some that were just getting their toes a little damp when I'd finally dove into the deep end. Guys and girls from different places, in different writing places. Great people that I would've never known if it hadn't been for AQC.

These great people and I chatted in the AQC chat room. Then I started chatting with some in Google chat. Some became my critique partners. Some I just critiqued their stuff. But some were my friends in general. We could talk about writerly things, or regular life things. We got to know each other and I grew to care about them. Now I only talk to one of them most often. Another one more often than the others. And the others hardly ever.

And that's what I realized. When we were all chatting all the time. Doing 1k1hr or passing chapters back and forth, I was motivated. I blogged, tweeted, wrote, critiqued, stayed involved with my writerly things and people. AQC brought us all together and that fueled my motivation...

And one day AQC took down the chat room. It shouldn't have mattered, but even when the chat came back eventually, it wasn't the same(and then they did away with chat again for good this time so no chance at getting back to that). And nothing was the same ever again. Now one of my friends writes, but not like before. She's busy with school and work, and Idk what else because I'm not always the greatest friend these days.

My other friend has needed me for far too long and I haven't been taking the time to talk to her. She never writes anymore and has so much happening right now that Idk when she will write again. And I feel insecure in what I should say or do to help her through her non writerly things. I want to be there for her and I feel like crap because I can't figure out how.

The others may or may not be writing.They may be having a great time at life and they may not. I just don't know.

What I know is when I lost that chat, I lost my mojo. I in no way blame the others, it just happens that losing them, I lost me too.

It's no ones fault but my own, so if any of the 2AMWriters ;P  are reading this, please don't feel like I'm saying it's any of your faults or anything bad. I know it's me.

Just like I know I will figure out a way to get myself out of this hole.

I'm really sorry for the long post, I'll do better with the next one. Idk if I'll post again before the next IWSG, so if not, I hope you all have a wonderful June and I'll catch you next time. :)

Make sure you check out the Insecure Writers Support Group site and also the awesome Alex J Cavanaugh.

Zing

Several Z words going through my mind. (Surprising since I had some issues with X and Y).

When I was a little younger, if I heard Zig-Zag, my mind tended to think of herbs...

Zapped makes me think of a Disney movie that my kids have made me watch twice. (And I don't hate it although it's not my favorite.)

And speaking of, Zendaya is a really awesome young lady. I like that my kids look up to her. (Hence why they needed to see Zapped several times and why I needed to record the Radio Disney Music Awards).

And the last Z word I thought of was zing. One of my favorite movies for I'm not really sure what reason exactly is Hotel Transylvania. I'm a little more excited than I should be about them coming out with a sequel really. But why I thought of zing because of it, in case you haven't seen the movie, is because that's what they call that feeling when you meet the one.

I always find it interesting in stories to hear what words they use. In romance novels of the paranormal variety I tend to hear people giving a title to that feeling. It's neat how different writers can come up with different things. Lynsay Sands calls them 'life mates' in her Argeneau series. JR Ward uses hellren, shellan, and also leelan for her Black Dagger Brotherhood series. And even Laurell K Hamilton uses different terms for Anita's many different lovers/boyfriend/whatever...

In Hotel Transylvania, that 'zing' is when you look into someone's eyes and just feel it. That pull, that voice screaming they're the one. A zing only happens once in a lifetime and it's not guaranteed to happen at all. It can seem a little cheesy, but so do the other love stories sometimes. I'm a sucker for love stories though so oh well.

Damn it's been one helluva month. Glad that's it's over, hate to see it go a little. Only a little though because April has honestly kinda sucked outside of the little blog world.

Thanks to all who stopped by this month. If I haven't been around to your site yet, I'm very sorry and I'm going over all my commenters today to make sure I stop in on you all. I'll do the same for those from today. I hope you had fun, if you hang around after the challenge I hope I can keep you entertained.

Have a great day and I'll see you next time. :)

Yes, yep, yeah

I must be getting a little burnt out on this because I'm not having any easier of a time with Y than I did with X.

The one sticking (I guess) is yeah. I say it a lot. Sometimes I say it (wether verbally, written, text, etc) and after I've done it, I think man I hope that didn't sound rude. And other times I write it and start to go for something else, but it just doesn't come natural.

Idk why, but yeah just seems to work best for me. I guess I can only hope that if it is something people think is rude that they'll know I don't mean to be rude when I say it. Funny thing is though...if my daughter or something says it to me, I tend to correct them because I think it sounds rude. And my oldest is quick to tell me that I don't think it's rude when I say it so it's not fair to call them rude for saying it.

Guess she's right, but oh well. It's one of the things that makes me remember things grown-ups told me were okay for them, but not me when I was younger. One of those, I can do it because I'm grown. But really, it's not right. If I think it sounds rude for them to reply with 'yeah', then it's rude for me too and I need to work on not saying it all the time. First I need to get over thinking it's awkward to say 'yes'.

And there's my Y post I guess. (Said that a lot in this post lol). Have a good Wednesday and I'll see you tomorrow for Z...that should be interesting. :)

Xerox

Coming up with words that start with X are a little complicated. The first word I could think of was xylophone, but I'm not writing a post about that. So, the second word was xerox.


Xeroxing something used to be the common thing to say. You didn't copy it, you xeroxed it. It wasn't just a company or specific brand you referred to. It was just what you said when you needed/made a copy of something.

Anyway. I can't remember the last time I heard it so there it is. Crappy X post, but at least it's short.

Happy Tuesday, see you tomorrow. Just a couple more letters to go. :)

The Walking Dead

I've tried and tried to come up with a W word, but since I've been binge watching The Walking Dead-that's all I can think of.

I mean sure, words like wonder, wander, willow, wish all passed through my head, but I just can't think of what to write about them because all I can think of is this darn show.

Walking, walkers, walkie-talkie, whiners, winners...ugh, it's all about that. I haven't ever watched the show, but I've wanted to. So I'm finally catching up and I like it. I stay up too late and still get up early, but the next night I'm up late again watching The Walking Dead.

I think I can get into stuff like that because I believe it. There could be a zombie apocolypse one day. Idk if it'd happen exactly like the shows/movies always portray, but something similar. An unknown (or possibly known) infection of some sort begins to spread and turns people into mindless zombie-ish things.

I don't think of the end of the world frequently, but I have thought of various ways it could happen. I don't really doubt much of anything. I tell my kids to believe in whatever they want. Anything is possible if you believe it is. I'm firm in my belief that if you can't prove it is and can't prove it isn't, then who knows.

That's what it is about shows like The Walking Dead. I get into them because I don't not believe it couldn't happen so it intrigues me. And this is my post because of my binge watching...

So, yeah. Have a great Monday and I'll see you tomorrow. :)