Missing Mojo-IWSG Wednesday

So, today was Wednesday, an IWSG Wednesday, and I didn't even realize until now. I went all day knowing it was Wednesday without really knowing it. Last month I forgot all about IWSG.

I thought doing the April A to Z Challenge would help me out of this weird up and down funk I keep finding myself in. It didn't. I finished the challenge and that was it. I didn't even think of my little blog here.

A few years back whenever I decided I wanted to actually attempt to accomplish something with my writing (aside from all the journals of stories and poems), I joined Agent Query and Query Tracker. I was nervous and unsure. I hadn't actually joined the chatroom part of Agent Query yet, but the day I made that step I was a bit scared. And once I was on there and started reading posts by other members, and seeing how long they'd been around, I was so intimidated.

It took a little time. A lot of breaking down of nerve walls. Many revisions, tears, worries, anger even...and friends. Online friends that were just like me. Some that used to be like me and were now those intimidating members. Some that were just getting their toes a little damp when I'd finally dove into the deep end. Guys and girls from different places, in different writing places. Great people that I would've never known if it hadn't been for AQC.

These great people and I chatted in the AQC chat room. Then I started chatting with some in Google chat. Some became my critique partners. Some I just critiqued their stuff. But some were my friends in general. We could talk about writerly things, or regular life things. We got to know each other and I grew to care about them. Now I only talk to one of them most often. Another one more often than the others. And the others hardly ever.

And that's what I realized. When we were all chatting all the time. Doing 1k1hr or passing chapters back and forth, I was motivated. I blogged, tweeted, wrote, critiqued, stayed involved with my writerly things and people. AQC brought us all together and that fueled my motivation...

And one day AQC took down the chat room. It shouldn't have mattered, but even when the chat came back eventually, it wasn't the same(and then they did away with chat again for good this time so no chance at getting back to that). And nothing was the same ever again. Now one of my friends writes, but not like before. She's busy with school and work, and Idk what else because I'm not always the greatest friend these days.

My other friend has needed me for far too long and I haven't been taking the time to talk to her. She never writes anymore and has so much happening right now that Idk when she will write again. And I feel insecure in what I should say or do to help her through her non writerly things. I want to be there for her and I feel like crap because I can't figure out how.

The others may or may not be writing.They may be having a great time at life and they may not. I just don't know.

What I know is when I lost that chat, I lost my mojo. I in no way blame the others, it just happens that losing them, I lost me too.

It's no ones fault but my own, so if any of the 2AMWriters ;P  are reading this, please don't feel like I'm saying it's any of your faults or anything bad. I know it's me.

Just like I know I will figure out a way to get myself out of this hole.

I'm really sorry for the long post, I'll do better with the next one. Idk if I'll post again before the next IWSG, so if not, I hope you all have a wonderful June and I'll catch you next time. :)

Make sure you check out the Insecure Writers Support Group site and also the awesome Alex J Cavanaugh.

Aiming High for Amazing Awesomeness

It's another Insecure Writer's Support Group post. If you don't know him already, you should definitely know the awesomeness behind this great group, Alex J Cavanaugh. And make sure you hop over to the IWSG website too. It's a great group that helps writers know their not alone.





(This is also my A post for the April A to Z Challenge.)

Many A words came to my mind at once when I got ready to post this...


Aim High
Amazing
Awesome
Aware
Awful

Just to name a few.

But this is the first post and an IWSG post so really, Aim High specifically wouldn't work. Awful could work if I'm going to discuss how my writerly things are going (only because they're not going at all). Amazing could work because I'm feeling like all things are possible right now if I just let myself get it done. Aware works because I'm much more aware these days about things and how so much can be taken away in minutes. And awesome always works because I tend to think a lot of things that happen and also how people are is awesome.

So, here it is...This month and the months to follow I will be Aiming High for Amazing Awesomeness when it comes to writing. As of now I've felt a bit awful when I think of my writing (or lack of). So I'm setting a goal to do better. I'm going to Aim for better. Aim to be amazing at getting it done. And aim to feel myself with lots of awesomeness and not so lots of awfulness.

Thanks for coming by. Leave a comment and I'll do my very best to visit everyone today. I appreciate you being here and I'll see you next time.

Have an Amazingly Awesome day. :)

Because I Say So...

I'm going to get back to things, it will happen, I'm working on it...And it will happen because I say so. That never works with my kids, but I'm going to go with it here. Only because it's something that can work in this situation. I have things I want and things I need to do to get the things I want and so only I can do it. I have to say so for it to happen.

Here's March, already. It happened way too fast. I'm just not ready for another year to just zoom past like the last several. I want time to slow down, only because I really want it to stop and I know that won't happen so I'll settle for a minor ease up on the gas pedal.

But, until that happens I'm here, in March, wondering if I'll be letting another month woosh past me with not a single writerly thing to show for it. Guess that all just means I'm feeling a bit insecure this month. Hopefully I won't soon. I want to have so many posts in a row, month after month, about how awesome writerly life is. But, my daughters are still homeschooling it, my youngest is right smack in the middle of competition season in gymnastics, and I'm still helping my parents out all the time on top of spending three days a week at the gymnastics place. So, not sure how secure things are going to get. If anything, I should probably just be hoping for things to not be so crazy and then work on the security once I've got that handled.

Nah, who am I kidding? If I lost the crazy, I wouldn't be a writer. :P

That's okay though. I'm starting to like it all a little. I would love to wake up and have a whole day of relaxing, but I know I can't right now and I'm okay with that. We'll just have to see what March and April bring and go from there. Who knows what may happen.

Until next time, make sure you're in the know on everything awesomely Alex(J. Cavanaugh) and this spectacular little Insecure Writer's Support Group we've got happening here.

See you later. Have an awesome day, y'all. :)

IWSG All About Me

(Make sure you check out the IWSG website and founder of this group, Alex J Cavanaugh.)So, I already had my post written out and then I just saw I was supposed to introduce myself. But that's okay, I'll have two posts today. To see the other post, click here.

And onto some stuff about me:

I'm a mother and a writer. I also am basically a personal assistant for my mom. Plus I run errands for my dad and I work at the gym (where my kids do dance and gymnastics) twice a week.

My kids are (recently) online homeschooled and both of them are in gymnastics and hip-hop. I don't really have a life outside of my kids and parents. Aside from when I stay up late and find time to do things I want to do (mostly online games, writing, and blogging).

This year is the first year that my youngest will be competing in gymnastics so I'll be adding gymnastics meets to my schedule which should be interesting. Most of them are going to be on Sundays though so that's not too bad.

I spent a lot of last year not blogging enough and my visiting was even worse, but I'm going to do better this year. I also tend to write too much on my blog posts and struggle to write enough in my books.

And that's about it, but if you're curious about anything else, feel free to ask. :)

Happy 2015 IWSG

(Yay! First Insecure Writer's Support Group post of the new year. And I'm on time! Before we get into this you must take time to meet the awesome Alex J Cavanaugh. Plus, go check out the IWSG website. While you're at both of those sites please take a few moments to browse, they're both great places to hang. But, don't forget to stop by each of the wonderful co-hosts blogs as well: Elizabeth Seckman, Lisa Buie-Collard, Chrys Fey, and Michelle Wallace.)

Since I haven't done anything, I'm really not secure or insecure about writing at the moment. I have no advice to give other than, write. If you wrote last year, maybe make a goal to write more. If you wrote a ton last year, make a goal to take the pace down a notch this time. And if you wrote at a good pace and you'd like to just keep at it, do whatever worked for you last year. And make sure you don't fear your insecurities either. You need them.

I feared once upon a time, actually I think I wondered it most in 2014, that writers wouldn't be as necessary. Everyone is a writer. Anyone can write anything they want. Things get published left and right, so people who needed writers don't anymore. Scripts, novels, plays, everyhting and anything you need-anyone can write it for you.

'Everyone' is not and can not be a writer. Writing is hard, it takes guts, time, effort, patience, love, understanding, caring, a bit(or maybe a lot) of crazy, and so much heart. Writers don't write because it's something people need, writers write because it's something they need. We all need to write out what's playing constantly through our minds or we'll all go crazier than we already are.

All those people who think it's easy, anyone can do it, they let anyone do it-they're wrong and honestly, not that bright. Writing isn't something that just comes naturally. Period. I don't care how fast someone can spit out a best selling novel, it doesn't mean it was easy. And those who say it's easy, aren't really writers. Not only does it take everything I said-it takes insecurities. So, make sure you open yourself up to those this year. Don't worry when you're feeling insecure, enjoy it and know that you're a writer and if you get too secure, your work won't shine as bright. Cocky writers don't always make great writers(but it's okay to be secure too).

What are your writing plans for this year? Are you writing, editing, publishing? Are you taking a break from writing all together? Or are you going to shoot out books that make it look easy? ;p

Sorry I didn't keep this one short enough, I'll try harder next time.

Have a great week and I'll see y'all next time. :)

Where does the time go...

(Before we get into this, you must take time to check out the awesome Alex J Cavanaugh and then hop on over to HERE and see the co-hosts for the month. Also make sure to visit the Insecure Writer's Support Group website.) (And, PS, I so didn't win NaNoWriMo, but I'm hopeful I can win another year.)

Weeks, months, years...it all seems to fly by so quick these days. My kids talk like 1985 was so long ago and I say, not really, then I look up and it's almost 2015 and damn, I'll be thirty in a year. When did that happen?

Thirty and what have I managed to accomplish in the last several years?

I think what's getting me most about the time flying is that I have absolutely zero feelings of accomplishment. I haven't read in a while, I'm so dang behind on several book series' that I really love. I can't remember the last time I actually finished a draft of one dang book, much less a first complete edit. My kids are behind on their school (at least that's just a few lessons behind) and the house is barely hanging in there, just teetering on a 'I'm not cluttered, but please don't put anything else in me' sort of thing. I haven't critted anything and I don't even know if I'm still welcome in the crit group and rather than sucking it up and asking, I'm too ashamed. And that's where I am right now at the end of this year.

Ashamed.

Which I guess makes me a bit insecure this month. Maybe a lot. Here I am at the ass-end of another year and I'm feeling like a junkie who happened to find just enough laying around to get one last ride in. And I rode that high proudly as if it would never go away and I'd at least be able to maintain. But, like all highs, I was bound to come down eventually. Now, I need some rehab, a swift kick in the butt, and my feet planted firmer under me and my head screwed on tight (or at least on enough to use it productively).

Bottom line is my year was up, down, up, down, up, down and it's not just this year. This started happening last year and really it happened a few years before that. I'm tired of it and I hope it won't happen again. I hope that I can start 2015 off with a whole lot of positivity and a good up that doesn't bottom out suddenly. I don't want to keep having posts of nothing but me saying, "I'm getting some stuff done finally, yay." and then, "I suck this month and haven't done anything." I've got plans for this next year and I'm tired of feeling ashamed.

This may suck as an IWSG post(and it's probably a bit long), but as long as I get my head out of my ass and keep it out, I plan on having better posts for 2015.

Thanks for hanging in there with me, sorry for this blog being so sucky this year, hope I can make up for it. Have an awesome December and I'll catch you next year. :)

Madness With a Side of IWSG

It's that time again...time for NaNoWriMo!

No, that's not really what I'm going to write about, well, technically I'll mention it, but I really mean it's time for another Insecure Writers Support Group post. AND I'm on time, YAY! (Well, it may not be early like I prefer to post, but hey, it is the first Wednesday so I'm getting better.)


Before I go on, make sure you're in the know when it comes to the wonderful awesomeness that is Alex J Cavanaugh. Also check out the IWSG website.

I've been crazy busy because I started my kids in an online homeschool program, but I started NaNo. I haven't made as much progress as I would like to have at this time, but I've made progress and that's what counts for me.

That's all I'm going to say about NaNo though.

Since I haven't been writing much, I haven't thought much about insecurities or securities. I have been a little worried that I won't be able to get NaNo done. I've already started three different WIPs because I stalled on each one. I shouldn't have done that though because now I've got three ideas going and I'm not sure which one to work on. It makes me have really mixed up, weird, nonsense dreams because all my ideas are merging together when I sleep. Which doesn't help when I wake up because then I have a hard time serparating the ideas. And there's no mixing these up so they need to stay separated.

But my indecision didn't stop me from writing 1223 words last night. It may have been a combined total from two different WIPs, but it was all during the 1k1hr I was working on. Idk, maybe I should just WIP-jump for now and see where it takes me. I haven't really written anything before now in so long that maybe I need to just get back in the groove of things and one WIP will stand out against the three.

I guess that's my IWSG post for the month. Maybe I'm a little of both, maybe my crazy non-writer life is making it hard to feel insecure or secure. I think I'm just happy that I haven't completely lost my mind in general so everything else is just proof that I'm still functioning in all the madness.

Anyway, hope this post makes sense, and if not I'm sure my ramblings are to be expected anyway. Have an awesome Wednesday, maybe I'll get it together and see you again before the month is up. :)

Feeling A Little Of Both This IWSG Wednesday

(I set this as a scheduled post so I'd actually have it up first thing, but Idk what happened because it didn't post...Oh well, it's here now.)

It’s another Insecure Writer’s Support Group Wednesday. I’ve managed to accomplish a whole bunch of nothing this past month in regards to writerly things. I’m not even sure if I’m secure or insecure either…

I’ve been dreaming of my various characters. I’ve made up whole scenes and chapters during drives to and from places. I’ve even sat at my computer pumped to do some critting/writing/editing/other related writerly things and then passed out because I’ve been so exhausted. But, nothing much has actually come of it.

I do have moments during the day that I worry I’m ruining everything for myself and then I have moments that I explain to myself how busy I am and that things will smooth out and start working just fine really soon. But then I go back to doubting anything will ever go back to being right and wondering if I’m really a writer. Of course, if I wasn’t a writer I don’t think I’d have the tons of ideas, dreams, and desires related to the writerly world.

So, I’ll go with a little insecure, a little secure, and a whole bunch of I’m determined to have something more to say next month.

Make sure you hop over to the wonderful Alex J Cavanaugh. Check out this month’s hosts too- Laura (My Baffling Brain), Mark Koopmans, Shah Wharton, and Sheena-Kay Graham. And don’t forget about the IWSG Website.

Until next time, have a wonderful day/week/month and I’ll see you soon. J

A Little Late...

I just realized that it's the first Thursday of this month and that means I missed the first Wednesday. And then I come to my lovely little neglected blog to see I haven't posted since June...Damn. I'm sorry about that.

(Make sure to go visit the Insecure Writer's Support Group website and the wonderful Alex J Cavanaugh as well.)

A couple of real quick things because unfortunately I don't really have more than a moment to post.

June and July flew right on by faster than ever before. This was the fastest, busiest, craziest summer I've had in all my 28 years. I've caught up, got behind, caught up, edited, worked a lot for free, worked a lot for not free, did a decent job of keeping my kids occupied, did a not so decent job of keeping my kids occupied, and did a barely decent job of not going crazy in all the madness.

Writing is happening, every once in a while. I've been reading a lot too, only as I've had time though. And I worked on crits, but then lost my internet for a bit and I've been behind since. But now I have to wait for AQC to come back up so I can get caught up again.

I think my biggest insecurity I've been feeling recently is that my current MS that I've been editing isn't really worth it and my other completed MS that I should just query or self pub is garbage even though I put a TON of effort into fixing it. I love both stories. And I really love the one I'm editing. But I've started posting it for critique and the crits (only chapter one...) on it have brought back old feelings from the first MS I had critted and I start worrying that I'm going to be in the same place I was. Mega editing and rewriting until I have a story that I love and hate all in one. Hopefully it's not going to end up like that and hopefully eventually I won't have anything but love for my first MS.

Last thing, I'm thinking I need to switch my blog. I'm not sure exactly what I want to do because I actually like blogger and Idk if I'll like something else as much. But I've had trouble with my blogger stuff ever since I got this laptop with Win 8. So, if anyone has any ideas/suggestions I'll gladly take 'em.

I hope everyone else is having a wonderful summer and I'll see you soon. (Hopefully sooner than a month or two.)

IWSG Real Quick...

Oh man, I've been so busy with end of the school year stuff and vacation planning that I didn't realize it was the first Wednesday.

So, happy Insecure Writers Support Group Wednesday, everyone. :)

(Check out the awesome IWSG creator, Alex J Cavanaugh. Then make sure to check out the IWSG website)

My days are extra packed lately, today is no exception. I'm going to just give a quick little what's happening and what not and then I'll be on my way for this time.

I've caught up on crits, group and one on one. I've been editing and started posting chapters for my crit group again. I've found time to do these things plus read, play, clean, and all the other crap I've got to get done every day. I'm going on a weekend vacation this weekend and then my kids have end of year stuff at their school next week all the way to the last day. But once all this craziness balances out a little (hopefully in a couple weeks), I'll be back to visiting blogs, posting more on my blog, and acknowledging those of you who come here and visit me.

So, it's safe to say I'm secure for the moment. I may crash, but fingers crossed that I've finally balanced out and everything will keep going this way. If nothing else, my crazy all over the place ups and downs give any other writers plenty of comparisons for whatever they're feeling at the moment, or at least almost anything. :P

Btw, I do see all the comments from everyone who stops by. I appreciate each one even though I haven't been able to really find the time to return them. I'm going to work on that soon.

Now I've got to run. Have an awesome week and weekend, I'll see y'all soon! :D

Take A Moment...Or Ten

Well, it's time for another IWSG post. Check out the awesome Alex J Cavanaugh. And then go check out the IWSG website and all the other awesome people on the list.

I've fallen behind on crits once again. A mixture of life and technical issues caused me to not be able to get online long enough to do much so I've been away from most online things for about two months. But, I'm back on and should be able to catch up within a few days.

If I can offer any advice, I'd say find a way to give yourself some time away. I'm sad about falling behind on crits and that I haven't done much in the writerly way, but I got to spend more time with my kids and their activities. I've played outside, went bike riding, told silly jokes, laughed, and just in general worked on enjoying my life outside of all the online/computer things I do. I even made a friend outside of the internet who actually lives here-something I haven't had in a very long time (not that I don't love and appreciate my online friends). There were moments when I had guilt in the back of my mind that I was falling so behind on crits and writing, I didn't dwell on it for the first time in a very long time. It was nice.

It gave me time to re-center myself and really decide where I want my life to be, to go, and how I can make it happen. I don't want to let my group down, so I hope they don't feel let down. It wasn't really my choice, but I could've probably tried harder to find a way to get online and to critting. I chose to go the unplugged route though and I can live with my choice even if I lose the awesome cps I've gained over the last few years.

So, make some time to step back from it all. Life and responsibilities can become hard, heavy, and it will weigh us down. Cut out as many responsibilities as possible, for even a few days, and it will help ease the burden. Because even though the responsibilities are still there when you come back, the breather makes things fresh. Now, go on and visit some other blogs that I'm sure know how to make awesome points in a lot less words than mine and then take some time to just relax and enjoy.

Have an awesome day everyone. :)

My Name Is Kela and I'm (In)Secure

Hello All. Welcome to another Insecure Writer's Support Group Wednesday. If you don't know him already, make sure you jump over to Alex J Cavanaugh and say hello. Also, check out the IWSG website and hosts for this month.

I wrote my title as (In)Secure because I am both, have been both, will continue to be both, and have now accepted it fully. I'm making an effort right now to not apologize for many things not happening around my little blog here. It's actually quite hard for me. But I've realized I need to stop apologizing for things I haven't done yet and just get to getting them done.

And that brings me to what all I've been working on this past month. I got caught up on crits and since I was really freaking behind, it took a lot of catching up. I've been reading, a little editing here and there when I can squeeze it in, a few too many doctor appointments, way too much non-writerly work...but most of all, I've been working on regrouping, refocusing, rethinking, reinventing. I needed to decide where I'm at, where I've been, where I want to be and what I did right and wrong in all those stages (or what I need to do).

I've realized a lot about myself, things I lost and for the good, things I lost for the bad, and things I lost, found, and need to lose again.

I don't know how many people really still pay attention to my blog, but I do know there are a good handful that have stuck around through all my crazy ups and downs. I've met a lot of people by stepping out into the social part of writing, some of those were nothing but a light breeze that came and went. Some came and stayed until they ended up lost themselves (if only I could figure out how to pull them back on track with me).

And some of you came, stayed, and support me through it all. I appreciate that. Those who are still here, are the ones I look up to. I aspire to find the awesome balance you have. I dream to one day be as awesome as Alex, as involved as SC, and as kind as TJ. Those are just a few people who come to my blog through all my flakiness and talk to me on Facebook, AQC, and Twitter. I truly do admire everyone who finds time to be socially active, hold regular jobs and/or go to school, be mother/father/wife/husband/spouse/significant other/etc, and still write/edit/publish/crit/etc--And all while managing to keep yourself from completely losing it. It's difficult, and anyone who accomplishes all of it is really something special. I applaud you, truly.

To wrap up this post and bring it back to the IWSG, I'm a little bit of both right now, insecure and secure. I know what I want and what to do to get there, but I also hate that I'm not there already.

Hope you have an awesome day full of securities and possibly some insecurities that still work out okay for you. :)

-Edit-
So, I just realized my post didn't post. Idk if I did something and can't figure out what, or if it's because Windows 8 hates blogger...or maybe it's blogger hates Windows 8. Whatever the reason, it's posted now. So, hope you had a wonderful day and are having a wonderful evening/night. :)

Happy IWSG New Year

So, first blog of the new year for me. I debated when I would get back to posting. Part of me wanted to do it before now, part of me said I should wait. I waited and here we are.

I've made a ton of resolutions for this year and I plan on keeping at least most of them. I can admit that I resolved to not do or to do a lot of things this year that in reality just aren't going to happen. But, there are a few things that will happen and I'm working towards my top few right now.

I'm currently rereading my first book to make sure it's query ready. Then I'm going to write a query and synopsis and sub it. It's funny actually, I'm only subbing to one place. I know I could sub a few places, someone may request more and then I won't be as down if no one requests. But, I'm not because if it doesn't work out at this one publisher, I will be self-pubbing. It's going to cost and give me a little more of a struggle, but I will get there.

I'm starting my new year off with a positive foot forward and I'm planning to have many more positive posts for the first Wednesday every month, all year.

Don't forget to hop on over to founder of the Insecure Writer's Support Group, Alex J Cavanaugh's site and see what he's got going on. He's a truly wonderful person and you should definitely know him.

Hope you all had wonderful holidays, are having a wonderful week, and great writing days ahead. :)

Happy IWSG Wednesday

And here we are at yet another first Wednesday of the month. I'm happy to write this post today because I am finally really back on track. Yay!

Crits are caught up, writing is happening (partially thanks to NaNoWriMo which I'm participating in again this year), and editing is coming up soon(once I decide which story I want to revise first). Plus, I've got my blog schedule all worked out and beginning next week, I've got some posts all lined up and ready to go. I was going to get it running a couple weeks back and decided I wanted to get caught up on everything else first.

Now that I am all caught up and back on track, reading blogs and jumping back into social networking will follow.

And then I'm going to keep moving day by day, always worried that I may regress back to where I've been this past year. Always in fear that I will fall behind on everything, not reading, not writing, slowly losing myself...And it'll be okay, I'll be okay. I don't want to lose that worry, because without it, I may forget that feeling of being lost. I may forget myself, losing myself again and that's what will trigger the drop right back into the mess I was.

The worry will keep my insecurities at the front of my mind and I'll just have to make sure it fuels my determination to stay on track. But I've been on this roller coaster long enough to know that insecurities are a necessity. Because if you're never insecure, how do you know what it truly means to be secure? It's just like being successful, if you don't know what it feels like to fail, you can't appreciate that feeling of succeeding. And being the overly emotional person that I am, I like to feel and appreciate it all.

So I'm going to wrap my insecurities around me, then secure them and myself.

Happy Wednesday. I hope you're all having a wonderful week. :)

(Don't forget to check out Alex J Cavanaugh, along with the new IWSG website and Facebook.)

The Resurrection of Mention Monday

I'm back...yay!

So, I've been trying to get my crap together (as you all pretty much know) and I figured I should get my blog back up and running properly to help aid my recovery.

My new schedule is made up (click here if you'd like to read my bloggy plans.) There are some changes and some things the same. Mondays are the same and I've got the perfect way to bring back my Mention Mondays.

As most of my followers are Insecure Writer's Support Group members, this isn't news, but I have to mention the IWSG website and Facebook for my first step back into blogging (more often). If it weren't for Alex and all the other wonderful writers from the IWSG, I probably would've let my blog go. If I let my blog go completely, it'd be gone. Without my blog, my motivation would be lost. And without any sort of motivation, I'd be lost.

I know it's odd that I can say that since I go so long without really posting anything, but it's true. My blogging keeps me tied into my online friends. Tweets get lost in the several other tweets of the more frequent tweeters. FB posts end up getting mingled with the more typical inspirational, funny, or even serious pictures/quotes/articles. The real interaction keeps going best when you've got a blog, posts, and followers who come and talk to you in the comments. (For me at least.)

I'm going to be better at showing how much I truly appreciate you all who come by to see me. Because I honestly do appreciate every comment.

Wait, I'm getting a little off subject here...

Today's mention is for the IWSG because the group is full of awesome people and it's hosted by doubly awesome people. Alex Cavanaugh and all the others who help w/ the new site and FB page are truly wonderful and it's because of them that I haven't totally become- 'I wonder whatever happened to that Kela person...'

So, if you don't know anything about it check the links below. It's worth your time, promise.

Insecure Writer's Support Group Website

IWSG Facebook page

Alex J Cavanaugh: IWSG Founder

IWSG Admins:

J.L. Campbell

Michelle Wallace

Joylene Nowell Butler

Susan Gourly/Kelley

L. Diane Wolfe

Lynda R. Young

So make sure you check out all these links. Even if you're not a writer, at least check out the awesome people because they are, well, awesome. :)

Hope you all have a fantastic Monday. :D

I Think It's Time...

For me to stop being messed up/bipolar/unorganized/unmotivated/behind on everything/crazy. Okay, not that last one, because, seriously...that's just not going to happen. But it is time for me to get it freaking together already.

This is my Insecure Writer's Support Group post for the month. If you don't know what the IWSG is all about, just click here. And thank you Alex for continuing this wonderful group. If you don't know Alex, click here. Also, this month's co-hosts are Julie Luek, Rachna Chabria, Beverly Fox, and Ilima Todd.

I am waiting to find out from my doctor about a few things going on with me lately and my spacey, sleepy all the time, just in general all over the place moods and immune system. Fingers crossed that she lives up to her usual awesomeness and fixes me.

That aside, I'm working up some plans. I've got to get some sort of system in place so I can get things together to make it easier for my currently spacey mind. I'm hoping if it works then I'll be able to get focused on things a little easier no matter what happens at my doctor apt next week.

And with the organizing will come a few things. For one, I'll be able to get caught up on critting better. Also, I should be able to get back to blogging and reading blogs more often. Finally, writing and editing/revising will come easier as well. With my mind being all over the place, so are my ideas. I go to write some on a WIP and another idea hits that I have to go write down and then I'm officially distracted from the WIP I had intentions of working on. But I'm also then distracted from any writing and end up going off to do something else.

If I can get my plan work, I will be able to jump all over the place like my mind wants, but it'll also allow me the focus I need to make myself focus on one WIP and actually write something. It'll be like a give a little, get a little. My mind wants to go crazy, so I will let it go crazy on everything except writing. Writing is the one thing I can't make work if I'm all over the place, so that will be my wild mind's compromise.

That's why I'm working on a good organizing system for myself. Because if I'm going to let my mind go crazy, I need to be better organized so everything doesn't wind up in a jumbled mess all over the place. And I'm really hopeful that it will work.

So, I hope to post more soon and see you all more often on your blogs as well. Funny thing about my wandering mind though, I've been catching up a lot on reading. Idk why I'm able to focus so fully on that when everything else is a jumbled mess of unproductiveness...

Oh well, that's my odd IWSG post for the month. I will see you all later and I hope you have an awesome day/week/month (depending on when I post again). Surely next time I post, I'll be a little more focused...maybe. And don't forget to check out Alex! Have a great day! :)

Call Me Crazy...

I never know exactly what I'll think of for the Insecure Writer's Support Group post until I open up my blogger and just start typing. Sometimes it surprises me and other times, it makes perfect sense before I type the first word.

(Before I get into my post though, let's start this off with a Happy Two Year Anniversary to this wonderful group!)

This month I've been thinking of how up, down, all around my writerly productiveness and whatnot has been. And it makes me smile because only a writer (or artistic type of any sort) could really get how normal that actually is. That's why so many people end up thinking artistic people are crazy. We're not crazy, just moody and all over the place because our minds just go go go. Honestly, the ones with the busiest brains tend to be the ones that we all revere with great respect.

I love Stephen King in the early years, then the longer he went on and the more he published, the crazier he seemed to be. (Not that Stephen King was ever sane by 'normal' standards). But he's brilliant. And no matter how many people read his stories and end up wondering wth, they still read his stories. He's popular, people love him, even though so many people are constantly talking about how insane he is.

But if we weren't a little 'insane', where would we get ideas to write? A clear, 'sane' mind could write a good story, but who wants to be good? No true writer aspires to tell a good story, we want to tell a great one. We want to pull people into our insane minds so they can realize how sane we really are. They need to understand that if it weren't for what they call madness, we wouldn't have Stephen King, Edgar Allen Poe, Ernest Hemingway(and so many more 'crazy' writers)...Those crazy writers gave us amazing things because it takes madness to come up with unique ideas that scream for attention.

Have you been to a psychiatric facility? If so, have you ever noticed how many of those 'crazy' people are talented? Painting, crafting, writing...Maybe no one is truly crazy, they just haven't found a way or been allowed to express themselves properly. Who knows? Maybe I'm all over the place lately because I'm just going crazy... :P

Well, that's my IWSG post for this month. If you learn nothing else from it, at least you all know I'm losing/have lost my mind. ;D

Go on over to Alex J Cavanaugh and check him out, he's pretty awesome if you don't already know. And CONGRATS to Alex for receiving the Pinnacle Book Achievement Award for your book CassaFire!

Also, the co-hosts for September are:

Chemist Ken http://hogwartssabbatical.blogspot.com/

SL Hennessey http://pensuasion.blogspot.com/

Michelle Wallace http://www.writer-in-transit.co.za/

Joylene Nowell Butler http://cluculzwriter.blogspot.com/

 

That's it. Hope you all have an awesome Wednesday and I'll see you soon. :)

Late IWSG and Some other stuff...

Lol, I know, bad title, but I was blank..

(Long post, sorry. :/ )

So, I've been so busy trying to squeeze as much time in with the kids before school started back up that I forgot yesterday was the first Wednesday of this month. It's been crazy here and I'm on the fence torn between so glad that school is back in and so sad that school is back in and my girls aren't home.

(Side Note: Here they are this morning before I took them to school-

 But don't be fooled, they're all sugar on the outside and pure pixie madness on the inside. :P  )

Okay, onto the IWSG...

That's Insecure Writer's Support Group for anyone who doesn't know about the group...and if you don't, you should. Alex J Cavanaugh is behind the awesomeness of this group because he's full of awesomeness so go check him out.

I tend to not like reflecting on certain aspects of myself. Speculations and conclusions that aren't real or even genuine ideas that I truly believe just for the fact that I don't want to really think of why I can't do anything. However, I started a new diet and exercise plan, not just to lose weight, but because I want to get healthy. Plus, my oldest and I both have sensitive stomachs so we decided to try out a gluten-free diet. It's worked so wonderfully that now we rarely have stomach aches at all, unless we cheat and eat gluten. Then we're in pain wishing we hadn't been so weak, giving into something we know we're better off without. Although I've got this new diet and exercise plan going, on top of the fact that I quit smoking (something I've wanted to do for a long time and now it's been months since I smoked at all), my aunt keeps saying hateful things about me. (My aunt always has strong opinions about everyone in the family and how we live our lives)

Problem is, I always let her get to me when I was growing up. I always found myself wanting to do things to please her, but I couldn't ever please her. The older I got, the more I realized I would never be able to please her. But I was ruined (for the time being, not permentantly though).  I spent so much of my life trying to please her, that I started trying to please everyone. Part of that was everyone started talking about me the same way my aunt did. Telling me I was too fat, too quiet, too loud/outspoken, too sensitive, too lazy, too too too...

I still find myself worrying about my not being productive enough in my writerly things. I start hearing my aunt telling me I'm being too lazy and I start worrying that's what's happening. But when I think that, I get too deep into my head. I start trying too hard, trying to force productivity out of myself in a way that's not for me, it's for everyone else. It's for my mom who believes in me too much, not that it's bad for her to have faith in me as a writer, but it's too much pressure. Or I try it to prove my aunt wrong, that I am who I am and look, I can do good things as the person you criticize. I even try to do it for you guys, my blogger buddies, writer buddies, tweeps, AQCers...For all of my online friends, who in reality, know what it's like. The pressure, the wants, needs, productivity woes, and everything else...All you guys who don't judge me by my lack of productivity, y'all who listen and only give helpful advice, friendly words, laughs, and everything positive (even if it's a positive kick in the ass ;P ). The people who I don't have to prove anything to...

And that's when I realized I need to stop obsessing. I am who I am, I love who I am, and some days/weeks/months/years will be good, and some will be bad. But as long as I know who I am and I have people who support me, that's all that matters. And if I can't focus on those good things, I will be stuck trying to force something to happen that won't ever happen right that way.

I know all that matters is if I'm happy with myself and I am. I'm also happy that I have you to make me smile when I need it, or to kick me into gear when I need it. I know you won't let me be lazy...well, most of you won't. :P

Sorry again for the long post, it actually took me by surprise myself, but I did stop trying to force conclusions and reasons. So, yeah, there it is, hope it makes sense because I'm in a hurry(time to pick the girls up from school) and not reading before I hit publish

Lol. Hope you're all having a wonderful Thursday. I'm hoping to be back to a schedule soon. Since I probably won't blog again this week though, have an awesome weekend too. :)

Busy Busy

Time to be an insecure (or secure) writer for the month. I'm not sure if I'm either really. I'm not feeling that insecure, but I'm not feeling that secure either...

Head over to Alex J Cavanaugh's blog to check him out and read about the IWSG while you're there.

Last month I said I was hoping to be writing again, working my way to 1k a day...It hasn't happened yet, not even the 1k a week. But I am writing more than I was for a while. I've fallen a little behind on my critiques for my group, but I'll catch up.

I've been really busy this summer. It's strange because I feel busier this year than I was last year. Last summer I was constantly going. Writing and blogging, critiquing and reading, plus trying to keep my kids entertained all while running on little to no sleep. This year, I'm ready for bed before my kids are and that makes it hard to find time for writerly things. I mean, I spend all day doing things with the girls which makes me too busy for writer things, then bedtime rolls around and I just want to crash. Honestly though, I'd rather be having fun with my kids instead of throwing them to the TV or something so that I can do something for myself.

Eventually I'll get it balanced out so that I can do it all, but until then, I'm going to write, read, and blog when I can and try not to stress about it.

I have been getting caught up on reading. I used to read a book a day, maybe one every couple of days. I'm not quite there yet, but I am reading and that's what counts.

Anyway, I hope you're all doing well, I really need to catch up on my blog lists. I'm so out of the loop and I'm sure so many of you have great things going on. Add that to my list. Write, read, critique, blog, read blogs...

And there it is, hope you're all having an awesome week. :)

Bleh Blehbleh

So, that's supposed to sound like the Dracula on Hotel Transylvania. My kids and I were being silly the other day and they got me doing the 'bleh blehbleh' thing that drac does in the movie. 'Why does everyone say that? I do not say 'bleh blehbleh' For some reason that's what came to mind when I was working on a name for this blog.

Anyway, lol, moving on...

This is my Insecure Writer's Support Group post. Hop on over to Alex Cavanaugh's blog to read up on exactly what the IWSG is and check Alex out too because he's awesome and you should already know who he is.

May breezed on by with barely productivity happening. However, in my defense of myself feeling negative about my lack of productivity...end of the school year crap had me very busy all of May.

Now it's June and I'm ready to set some real goals that I will really keep this time.

No, really, I'm for real sticking to it...maybe. :p

I'm setting a goal to write at least 1k a week. That's not much at all, but once I see if I can actually stick with that goal, then I'll move it up. Considering I used to write more than 1k a day, I'm hoping to get back there very soon.

I'm going to write out a list of books I need to get to reading. (If you've got any suggestions whether you think I've read them or not, tell me in the comments so I can put them on my TBR)

And I'm going to keep caught up on crits. Right now, I'm doing pretty good there, kind of.

Guess that's it. A weird IWSG post I suppose, but that's all I've got to say writer-related.

Hope you're having a great week and have a great rest of the week. And hopefully I'll post a whole lot more very soon. :)