Feeling A Little Of Both This IWSG Wednesday

(I set this as a scheduled post so I'd actually have it up first thing, but Idk what happened because it didn't post...Oh well, it's here now.)

It’s another Insecure Writer’s Support Group Wednesday. I’ve managed to accomplish a whole bunch of nothing this past month in regards to writerly things. I’m not even sure if I’m secure or insecure either…

I’ve been dreaming of my various characters. I’ve made up whole scenes and chapters during drives to and from places. I’ve even sat at my computer pumped to do some critting/writing/editing/other related writerly things and then passed out because I’ve been so exhausted. But, nothing much has actually come of it.

I do have moments during the day that I worry I’m ruining everything for myself and then I have moments that I explain to myself how busy I am and that things will smooth out and start working just fine really soon. But then I go back to doubting anything will ever go back to being right and wondering if I’m really a writer. Of course, if I wasn’t a writer I don’t think I’d have the tons of ideas, dreams, and desires related to the writerly world.

So, I’ll go with a little insecure, a little secure, and a whole bunch of I’m determined to have something more to say next month.

Make sure you hop over to the wonderful Alex J Cavanaugh. Check out this month’s hosts too- Laura (My Baffling Brain), Mark Koopmans, Shah Wharton, and Sheena-Kay Graham. And don’t forget about the IWSG Website.

Until next time, have a wonderful day/week/month and I’ll see you soon. J

A Little Late...

I just realized that it's the first Thursday of this month and that means I missed the first Wednesday. And then I come to my lovely little neglected blog to see I haven't posted since June...Damn. I'm sorry about that.

(Make sure to go visit the Insecure Writer's Support Group website and the wonderful Alex J Cavanaugh as well.)

A couple of real quick things because unfortunately I don't really have more than a moment to post.

June and July flew right on by faster than ever before. This was the fastest, busiest, craziest summer I've had in all my 28 years. I've caught up, got behind, caught up, edited, worked a lot for free, worked a lot for not free, did a decent job of keeping my kids occupied, did a not so decent job of keeping my kids occupied, and did a barely decent job of not going crazy in all the madness.

Writing is happening, every once in a while. I've been reading a lot too, only as I've had time though. And I worked on crits, but then lost my internet for a bit and I've been behind since. But now I have to wait for AQC to come back up so I can get caught up again.

I think my biggest insecurity I've been feeling recently is that my current MS that I've been editing isn't really worth it and my other completed MS that I should just query or self pub is garbage even though I put a TON of effort into fixing it. I love both stories. And I really love the one I'm editing. But I've started posting it for critique and the crits (only chapter one...) on it have brought back old feelings from the first MS I had critted and I start worrying that I'm going to be in the same place I was. Mega editing and rewriting until I have a story that I love and hate all in one. Hopefully it's not going to end up like that and hopefully eventually I won't have anything but love for my first MS.

Last thing, I'm thinking I need to switch my blog. I'm not sure exactly what I want to do because I actually like blogger and Idk if I'll like something else as much. But I've had trouble with my blogger stuff ever since I got this laptop with Win 8. So, if anyone has any ideas/suggestions I'll gladly take 'em.

I hope everyone else is having a wonderful summer and I'll see you soon. (Hopefully sooner than a month or two.)

IWSG Real Quick...

Oh man, I've been so busy with end of the school year stuff and vacation planning that I didn't realize it was the first Wednesday.

So, happy Insecure Writers Support Group Wednesday, everyone. :)

(Check out the awesome IWSG creator, Alex J Cavanaugh. Then make sure to check out the IWSG website)

My days are extra packed lately, today is no exception. I'm going to just give a quick little what's happening and what not and then I'll be on my way for this time.

I've caught up on crits, group and one on one. I've been editing and started posting chapters for my crit group again. I've found time to do these things plus read, play, clean, and all the other crap I've got to get done every day. I'm going on a weekend vacation this weekend and then my kids have end of year stuff at their school next week all the way to the last day. But once all this craziness balances out a little (hopefully in a couple weeks), I'll be back to visiting blogs, posting more on my blog, and acknowledging those of you who come here and visit me.

So, it's safe to say I'm secure for the moment. I may crash, but fingers crossed that I've finally balanced out and everything will keep going this way. If nothing else, my crazy all over the place ups and downs give any other writers plenty of comparisons for whatever they're feeling at the moment, or at least almost anything. :P

Btw, I do see all the comments from everyone who stops by. I appreciate each one even though I haven't been able to really find the time to return them. I'm going to work on that soon.

Now I've got to run. Have an awesome week and weekend, I'll see y'all soon! :D

Take A Moment...Or Ten

Well, it's time for another IWSG post. Check out the awesome Alex J Cavanaugh. And then go check out the IWSG website and all the other awesome people on the list.

I've fallen behind on crits once again. A mixture of life and technical issues caused me to not be able to get online long enough to do much so I've been away from most online things for about two months. But, I'm back on and should be able to catch up within a few days.

If I can offer any advice, I'd say find a way to give yourself some time away. I'm sad about falling behind on crits and that I haven't done much in the writerly way, but I got to spend more time with my kids and their activities. I've played outside, went bike riding, told silly jokes, laughed, and just in general worked on enjoying my life outside of all the online/computer things I do. I even made a friend outside of the internet who actually lives here-something I haven't had in a very long time (not that I don't love and appreciate my online friends). There were moments when I had guilt in the back of my mind that I was falling so behind on crits and writing, I didn't dwell on it for the first time in a very long time. It was nice.

It gave me time to re-center myself and really decide where I want my life to be, to go, and how I can make it happen. I don't want to let my group down, so I hope they don't feel let down. It wasn't really my choice, but I could've probably tried harder to find a way to get online and to critting. I chose to go the unplugged route though and I can live with my choice even if I lose the awesome cps I've gained over the last few years.

So, make some time to step back from it all. Life and responsibilities can become hard, heavy, and it will weigh us down. Cut out as many responsibilities as possible, for even a few days, and it will help ease the burden. Because even though the responsibilities are still there when you come back, the breather makes things fresh. Now, go on and visit some other blogs that I'm sure know how to make awesome points in a lot less words than mine and then take some time to just relax and enjoy.

Have an awesome day everyone. :)

My Name Is Kela and I'm (In)Secure

Hello All. Welcome to another Insecure Writer's Support Group Wednesday. If you don't know him already, make sure you jump over to Alex J Cavanaugh and say hello. Also, check out the IWSG website and hosts for this month.

I wrote my title as (In)Secure because I am both, have been both, will continue to be both, and have now accepted it fully. I'm making an effort right now to not apologize for many things not happening around my little blog here. It's actually quite hard for me. But I've realized I need to stop apologizing for things I haven't done yet and just get to getting them done.

And that brings me to what all I've been working on this past month. I got caught up on crits and since I was really freaking behind, it took a lot of catching up. I've been reading, a little editing here and there when I can squeeze it in, a few too many doctor appointments, way too much non-writerly work...but most of all, I've been working on regrouping, refocusing, rethinking, reinventing. I needed to decide where I'm at, where I've been, where I want to be and what I did right and wrong in all those stages (or what I need to do).

I've realized a lot about myself, things I lost and for the good, things I lost for the bad, and things I lost, found, and need to lose again.

I don't know how many people really still pay attention to my blog, but I do know there are a good handful that have stuck around through all my crazy ups and downs. I've met a lot of people by stepping out into the social part of writing, some of those were nothing but a light breeze that came and went. Some came and stayed until they ended up lost themselves (if only I could figure out how to pull them back on track with me).

And some of you came, stayed, and support me through it all. I appreciate that. Those who are still here, are the ones I look up to. I aspire to find the awesome balance you have. I dream to one day be as awesome as Alex, as involved as SC, and as kind as TJ. Those are just a few people who come to my blog through all my flakiness and talk to me on Facebook, AQC, and Twitter. I truly do admire everyone who finds time to be socially active, hold regular jobs and/or go to school, be mother/father/wife/husband/spouse/significant other/etc, and still write/edit/publish/crit/etc--And all while managing to keep yourself from completely losing it. It's difficult, and anyone who accomplishes all of it is really something special. I applaud you, truly.

To wrap up this post and bring it back to the IWSG, I'm a little bit of both right now, insecure and secure. I know what I want and what to do to get there, but I also hate that I'm not there already.

Hope you have an awesome day full of securities and possibly some insecurities that still work out okay for you. :)

-Edit-
So, I just realized my post didn't post. Idk if I did something and can't figure out what, or if it's because Windows 8 hates blogger...or maybe it's blogger hates Windows 8. Whatever the reason, it's posted now. So, hope you had a wonderful day and are having a wonderful evening/night. :)