Tuesday, April 21, 2015


In my short 29 years of living I've done a lot of things. I've smoked, drank, had sex, stripped(well, I never really took anything off and it was only for 2 days, but still...), tried drugs, and honestly more things that I think I'll leave up in the air. Point is that I never was one to be afraid to try something. Until I had kids I used to say I'd try anything once, twice if I like it. I dropped that motto a long time ago though.

I like to say it's because I grew up, which is true, but man it kinda sucks. I grew up a little too much. It makes it hard to be a parent when you forget how to be a kid. Sometimes I say or do something and think, damn I turned into one of those bitter boring old ladies and I'm still so young.

Once I didn't care what anyone had to say about anything I did. But somewhere I got it into my head that to be grown up, you have to care what others think. You have to constantly worry what someone may say if you do this or that. And the more I thought that, the more paranoid about every single thing I became. Everything I did, or thought about doing I had to stop and think about what may happen. Even stupid things that didn't really matter.

Eventually I balanced out a little and I'm not as concerned. I realized I am who I am and if you don't like it, I don't care. But there's still that little voice asking me if I'm really okay with that.

When people used to ask me something I've done that I regret, I always said nothing. Regretting is for people who wish their life was different. Are there things that happened in my life that I hate? Sure. But each of those things got me to where I am now and for the most part, I'm okay with that. And anything I'm not okay with wouldn't be different if I could've gone back and changed something.

Of course now I do regret one thing and that's growing up too much. I regret losing that open part of myself that let me have more fun. If I could go back and change anything, I'd go back to whenever I forgot how to be a kid and I'd change that one little thing.

But as soon as I think that, I stop and think-what would that change? Changing anything from your past can affect your present and future. I don't think anything is worth risking that. And that is all it takes to keep me from holding any regrets. It is what it is and everything happens for a reason-good or bad.

And sorry about the lengthy post. I'll do better with S...maybe :p

I hope you all have a great day and that you don't have any regrets. :)


Jeremy Hawkins said...

Thank you for sharing... I think it's sad with kids, they sometimes don't even get to be kids with the world of technology at ever turn. I grew up being encouraged to be me, artistic... creative.

My life has been that way for my freedoms to be all that; music, art, design, etc... sadly it doesn't always transfer into success and those people who supported me, now judge me. I have no children, divorced, married again, friends at the minimal and me thinking what a couple of wrong turns can make.

You need to be the best for yourself, for your kids and be happy who you are... when we look back, we can only hope we have done the right thing. Those eyes who watch and judge, they could be jealous of the steps you have taken... who knows honestly.

We get one real shot at this life, mine is half over... I choose to be the best if it is the right choice?


Lisa Mandina said...

For the most part I don't regret things I did, as the one saying says, I regret things I didn't do. Like study a different field in college, or go to a different college. But this is a great post, and I appreciate all you shared with us! If you have time, you should stop by and check out my R Post.

Debra McKellan said...

"It makes it hard to be a parent when you forget how to be a kid." That sounds like the beginning of a book. :)

I do regret a lot of things, and when I think I've stopped, I have a dream that brings up subconscious hopes, and the cycle begins again.